Katherine of Arabia

Mid-Life Crisis

2010-07-11T18:41:00.002+04:00

While I understand my Aunt's motivations to leave me her house, I cannot help but feeling like it is another "responsibility" that is slowly and systematically killing my soul. All I want to do is remain in my safe zone; a life that can be packed up and moved to the other side of the world with a week's notice. Now, there is a mortgage, repairs, maintenance, and a myriad of other bullshit things. It has been over a year since my last post and I feel like I haven't moved at all since then. I go to my job, come home to my house, work on the NEVERENDING to do list, rinse, repeat. No growth or new experience. How do you make every cell in your body stop screaming to drop it and just run free? How do you convince yourself that this life doesn't equal death?

Something has got to change. I don't want to to turn into a shell person, filled only with regret.

Job Hunt Landmines

2009-05-07T18:42:00.001+04:00

So, recently I started seriously looking for a job. I did the normal "post your resume on Monster.com and CareerBuilder.com." Ever since I did, I have received multiple versions of the following email:

"Phone: +1 (559) 761-0618 , Fax +1 (559) 340-6554

Money Manager Assistant (part-time vacancy; Work at home, ; 2000 usd / month):

We value your response back regarding the open vacancy Insurance Company is offering. We're currently seeking motivated and responsible individuals to attend the post of a 'Work at home Money Transfer Assitant'. This remote position itself covers a broad range of directions an individual would have to perform. It's a part time position, which let's you perform your duties directly from your home location. In the nearest future, we're planning to achieve the expansion of our company throughout the United States of America and United Kingdom, providing local offices and departments in the vast areas, where logistic and insurance services are definitely in demand. Until then, we're trying to fill in our personnel with new individuals, which will increase the efficiency of the services we're catering. If you wish to apply or have any questions regarding the position, feel free to contact me back either via e-mail. Hope to hear from you soon.

In order to reduce the corporate overhead, we've implemented the thrift solution of disseminating bases of control over certain regions of the United States of America. It provides a great opportunity for beginners to participate in the standard operations of the future subsidiary departments. Besides the expansion project, the upcoming regional accountants are expected to learn a great deal about different realms of the insurance market mainly through digesting the experience gained from the large scale practical assignments.

1) This is part time work at home position and can easily combine this vacancy with any other work.
2) The fixed salary is 2000 USD a month + 5% instantly from each payment processed by you.
3) You will receive payments (Direct Bank Deposits and wire transfers) from client within United States and send it by instant payment sistem such as Western Union. You will receive 5% of processed amount.
4) You do not spend your own money and there are no startup fees. All charges for withdrawal or transferring the money will be deducted from the payment.
5) To start work with us you must only have basic checking account at any bank. Your financial information will never be disclosed to third parties.
6) You can work 2-3 hours per day.
7) This is not insurance sales position and you don't need to sell insurance, this is Money Transfer Assistant vacancy.
8) Your education and status don't matter.
9) We do not ask any personal information and we run business according to laws of the United States of America.

Now I will explain the details of this job.

1) An ACH or Wire transfer will be made to your bank account from our client. I'll let you know it's exact transfer amount and date.
2) You should receive the transfer and send me the confirmation that you've received it. Then you'll have to cash out this transfer at your bank.
3) Then you'll have to sent the money you took from you bank account via Western Union. I'll let you know all the necessary information on this transfer(the name of person who will receive the money and destination city/country).
4) Then you should send an email to me to confirm the Western Union transfer is sent. This email should include sender's name, name of the city the transfer has been sent from, exact Western Union transfer amount, and Western Union MTCN (it's essential for receiving the money).
5) We communicate with our agents mainly by e-mail, but we will also communicate by phone (if your e-mail is not available). It is your responsibility to check your e-mail daily and inform us about any change in your contact information. Supporting communication is your top-priority obligation.
6) The fixed monthly salary which is 2000 usd will be sent to you by direct deposit after 30 day period from first transfer.

Let's see how it works. For example, 2000 usd have been transferred to your account. The amount you'll receive for each transfer is 5% from the initial payment to your bank account. 5% from 2000 usd is 100 usd so you'll have to send 1900 usd via Western Union. Western Union fee(it's about 100 usd) should be deducted from 1900 usd.

Please ask me with more questions or just let me know you're ready to get started.

We do not need access to your bank accounts. This is information that you can see at any check and only let us to send ACH and Wire transfers to this accounts.

Note: Actions depicted below, are authorized by Our Company, and therefore sustain legitimacy status. Our venerable organization doesn't condone or incite improper or out of border incentives, which may contradict to federal law.

To apply, simply send a reply to our support department at HRManagerPIC212@gmail.com . We value your response and feedback.

Respectfully,
Julie Mathews. HR department.
ID 4595832842"

Sounds too good to be true, right? Well, if you think this is a legit offer, I have some friends in Nigeria that would like to take your money as well. Luckily, I have just accepted a job at Ft. Belvoir!! I start Monday so wish me luck!

The Downstairs Office

2009-03-04T01:05:00.016+04:00

So, my aunt and uncle lived in this house for about 25 years. They combined their separate households into this bigger house... so they each had an office and both kept EVERYTHING. I have found every canceled check for every account they ever had since 1960. Awesome. I can see why the step family is so mad about not getting this inheritance. This place is a gold mine.... if you recycle paper for a living or get a thrill from searching through paper with not even good gossip as a reward.

The downstairs office (my uncle's) has been one of my major fears. Here is why:

This electronic monument is being held up by this (Those are 2 HOUSE JACKS):
Weeks of labor later:

Even more labor after that and we finally finished:

The Back 40 of the Game Room

2009-02-04T00:46:00.000+04:00

As promised, the clearing continues! Here I had a pile of stuff. There is no other way to describe it. I believe that my aunt was going to sell this stuff on Ebay but who knows? I have sorted, donated, cleaned and given away a couch to a sweet kid in DC, who "legitimately has no furniture. Seriously."

So, without delay, here is the before picture:
And the process:
Ta da!!!:
Many plants were killed in the making of this space. A moment of silence, please! (Don't worry- most of them were dead already!!)

Inauguration Fun!

2009-01-21T02:34:00.000+04:00

Unlike a majority of people attending this year's Presidential Inauguration, I have been going to these events ever since I moved to DC. Now, of course, that has only been the 2005 and 2009 inauguration... but my argument still stands. Here is my pretty ticket:
And the useless back:
Let me run down the day:
6:30am- D and I plan to get up.
6:45am- We oversleep and wake up then.
7am- Leave D's house in NE for bus stop.
7:20am- Give up on our bus and take another as close a we can get.
8am- After fighting the crazed crowds and cold, we arrive at Silver Gate, which does not open until 9am.
8:45am- We find the end of the Silver Gate line. This line then winds all the way around the block, overlapping. Yeah, I am impressed with the hippies.
9am- Gate opens and we start to move. We meet very nice people in line. They had a worse time than us being that the maps on the back of their tickets did not have the "Use Enclosed Map" sticker (or map for that matter)... so they had tried to get in the non-existent entrance on the NW side of the Mall. Totally sucky.
9:15am- The line disintegrates when "officials" direct us to Maryland Avenue. The 6 person-wide line then turns into a 30 person-wide stampede for the gate.
9:16am- People get jammed up and cannot get to the gate. The problem is that people thought that it wouldn't matter that they didn't have tickets and they would just follow the crowds and get as close as possible. They are clogging out way so D and I have to go old school and elbow our way through. Yes, little children and old people were probably hurt in the process but whatever!
9:25am- D and I enter security check point. There was no line. No one checked our tickets. No one asked me what was in my pockets. All the clogging people could have just walked in and stopped screwing up the flow of foot traffic.
9:30am- D and I eat our snacks and watch all the stupid around us. I inform him that I will be clapping for W. when he comes out and my feelings would not be hurt if he didn't want to stand next to me!!
11am- They begin introducing everyone and their mother. Kid next to me is "videoing the highlights for YouTube- when Bush is out and Obama is in." And he holds the camera over his head and pans around, saying, "There is an estimated 4 million people here on the Mall today!" I turn to him and say, "That's just a lie. And impossible." D agrees that there is no way the laws of physics would allow 4 million people to fit on the National Mall. Kid next to me tries to get away from us.
(If anyone can find his sad, little video, I would love to post it!!!)
11:30am- Ceremony has started. Kid next to me officially hates me after all my cheering for Bush. No one was happy with the speakers... my favorite part was the Skittle Speech... "When white will embrace what is right"- Dr. Joseph Lowery.
12 noon- Biden is sworn in and is President for 5 minutes.
12:05pm- Obama sworn in. D and I have watched the entire thing on a portable TV brought by the people in front of us. Speech was lame so I started texting my warm hippie friends, who were smart enough to stay inside.
12:30pm- Speech wraps up. We have no interest in the poem. Apparently, she started her reading with, "I worked really hard on this." Ummm, yeah, I hope so.
1pm- We have finally got past the Jersey barriers but cannot cut through the mass of people. We cannot even see the Metro Station. We fight our way onto the highway. Seriously.
2pm- Finally get back to D's house. I am elated. On the walk back, a woman stopped us and thanked us for coming out to support President Obama. D said "You're Welcome." I wanted to call her racist but I was too cold to react.

Overall.... overrated. However, the event is normally overrated. I enjoyed the last one more because we got better tickets and Republicans are pretty organized. Considering the Democrats haven't had one of these in awhile, they are rusty. This one was big and I am glad that no matter who won this election, we are making steps to break down barriers in our political culture. Now, if only that would apply to industry and other roles in general.... then, maybe, there could be some real change.

Have a Happy Celebration of Another Bloodless Transfer of Power!

The Pool Table Saga

2009-01-15T00:12:00.000+04:00

I have inherited a pool table. However, it was covered with ONE MILLION TONS of train table. Now, before y'all email me with complaints that I should have sold or given away the table, please read the following reasons why that would not work:

1) It took 2 people a total of 2 days to dismantle the table. It was a solid piece of 3 layer goodness and there was no way to move it without destroying it.
2) It was very old and the trains did not work anymore.
3) In the world of train collectors, it is not cool to buy a ready made table. It is more respectable to create your own table. It is part of the experience.
4) I saved the buildings and whatever I could salvage before demolition progressed.
5) It is my table and I will destroy it if I want to.

Ready for pictures now? Here is the before:
The Demolition!!

The finale!!
So, stay tuned for the clearing of the pile of crap in the background of all of these pictures to be cleared out! I know you are all jealous of my exciting life!!!

Fancy T-Day Tables

2008-11-29T23:49:00.000+04:00

Here are some more pictures of the holiday!!

I have inherited fancy, gold silverware and china.

Here is the whole table!! Definitely a table ready for a Vegas-style meal!!

Thanksgiving Ready!

2008-11-27T19:00:00.004+04:00

The bar is finally clean!! My little sister is very productive with the correct motivation!!

Delay in Pictures

2008-11-12T07:01:00.001+04:00

OK, I lied. The after pictures have been delayed until my sister arrives and helps me hang my blinds. Totally harder than expected!!

The Master Bedroom Reloaded

2008-11-11T05:47:00.005+04:00

So, I have moved into the Master Bedroom in preparation for all my upcoming visitors in the upcoming months (you know who you are!!). Being true to my norm, here are the before pictures:

The after pictures will be posted tomorrow once I finish laundering linens...... yeah, I am totally unorganized!!

The Master Bedroom

2008-10-24T18:41:00.010+04:00

So, I have been trying to follow the advice given in the movie, "Under the Tuscan Sun:" "Buyer's remorse is a very common affliction among new homeowners. Just because you have a sudden urge to weep, that doesn't mean you've made a mistake. Everybody knows old houses have their quirks. Especially old houses. I have inherited 800 empty wine bottles, one grape, every issue of "La Nazione" and assorted previous tenants. The trick to overcoming buyer's remorse is to have a plan. Pick one room and make it yours. Go slowly through the house. Be polite, introduce yourself, so it can introduce itself to you."

This has been my inspiration.  However, it must be much easier in a
villa in Tuscany.  An inherited house in Maryland is not as amazing! 
Here is my first attempt with paint to introduce myself!

Before:


After:


As soon as it is furnished, more pictures will come!!

So, I am a grown up

2008-10-20T16:54:00.005+04:00

As the title implies, there is some question. Having said that, I don't know how to clean an oven. Who has an oven that is not self-cleaning? Answer: me, in my house from hell. Luckily, my mom was visiting and as she cleans, she becomes enraged and cleans faster, while slamming things around and swearing under her breath. I find it to be hilarious! So, here are the pictures!! Brace yourself!!!

Before:
After:Nice job, moms!! Also, if anyone is in a similar situation, Easy-Off has a fume-free oven cleaner that kicks a$$.

New Adventures

2008-10-08T17:25:00.007+04:00

After a long hiatus, it is official: I am not returning to Dubai and I am now unemployed. Since I fully support the American business culture, I cannot be to upset about being the victim of corporate mindset. I was no longer any use to them so I was let go. However, I have been able to spend the entire summer dealing with my family and the new estate....

NEVER FEAR THOUGH.....

I still have adventures and will be returning to the Middle East at some point. Until that time, you will enjoy stories of my renovations of: my house, my job, my lovelife, and my crazy friends and family. Fun will be had by all. To start us off, here is the beginning of my before/after picture segments:

Here are my flower boxes..........
BEFORE:
AFTER:

Friendster

2008-05-30T17:08:00.004+04:00

**Yes, I am in the States but I have so many stories that have been missed... so stay tuned!!**

So, now that facebook is blocked, I have been receiving a million messages on Friendster.

Here are some great ones:
New Messages:
"hi, this is talha 25m abu dhabi.u look really beautiful in ur pic and iam handsome too.would u like to be my friend?"

(He had a picture and was actually very handsome but I declined... despite his amazing description of me!!)

New Comment:
",How are You Doing ? I was very fortunate to come accross such a Lovely Profile Like Yours I'm lauren By Name .Am Honest,Caring,Easy Going,Compassionate, Loving,romantic and God Fearing .I Have a Good sense of Humor and am Down to Earth.. ,Race and Distance Differences are No excuse to Friendship or Relationship because Love and Feeling are measured with Heart and soul..RightNow , I can truely say if I was asked to define beauty i'd say it's you. Your Qualities made you Fascinated to Meet me..The minute I glance at your profile , It is as if God opened my eyes, My soul and my heart to truely comprehend the glory of your Inner beauty.I pray my words have touched the depth of your heart and Life the moment you read my message,i'll only appreciate if you respond.I am for real and Imean the words That I specially wrote.I'll really love to know More about you, Get along & see where It takes Us To.I want to Tell you More about me..Write or IM ME via brownlauren30@yahoo.com . I'd Love to"

(No picture with this profile and I am not sure if it is a girl or guy)

This comment was just a picture, so I had to take a screen shot:

Air Taxis

2008-04-04T11:16:00.002+04:00

OK- this is hilarious and sadly, something that I think is ABSOLUTELY necessary for Dubai. The traffic here is impressive. I lived in DC for over 2 years and never had to deal with anything close to this. I have already ranted about the inability of people here to drive correctly, in any weather condition. On top of that, there is no plan for infrastructure. They have no consistent signage or road planning. It is like the Thunderdome of driving.

Luckily, they have tons of money so Air Taxis will become a viable option:
"An air taxi service is set to launch in Dubai next year for businessmen who want to avoid the city’s congested roads.

Cars Taxi is to operate a fleet of 10 helicopter taxis. General Manager Abdullah Sultan Al Sabbagh told Gulf News “We are finalising the plan to introduce helicopter taxi service in the UAE by 2009 and anyone who can afford it will be able to use it.”

The company is negotiating with European firms for the lease of the aircraft, AL Sabbagh told the paper, adding the service would be nationwide, not just in the city."

I Heart Jets

2008-04-02T08:53:00.002+04:00

This is pretty cool.  Imagine how much we could get done
internationally if it only took 2 hours to cross the Atlantic?!!
We will need one of these when we take over the world.  Do you
think they have financing?

I don't think that my credit is good enough to
spend $80,000,000 on anything! I think it may be time for
a new job!!

On the Camel Walk

2008-03-30T16:56:00.000+04:00

This is the best news I have heard in awhile... they are going to clean the camels:

ABU DHABI - At least 2,000 camels will fill the desert surrounding Zayed City in the Western Region of Abu Dhabi, all washed, brushed and looking their best for the first international camel beauty contest.

Organised by the Abu Dhabi Authority for Culture and Heritage (ADACH) under the patronage of General Shaikh Mohammed bin Zayed Al Nahyan, Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi and Deputy Supreme Commander of UAE Armed Forces, the Mazayin Dhafra Camel Festival 2008 will take place on April 2-10.

Owners of camels from both UAE and other Gulf countries are welcomed to bring their animals to the festival, in which prizes totalling Dh35 million and 100 cars, mostly four-wheels and pick-ups, will be given away.

The camel contest will be split between Asayel (pedigree) camels from this region and Majahim (dark-skinned) camels. Only pure-bred origin camels would be allowed to participate and they must be free of any contagious diseases or serious defects.
Apart from the camel shows, the festival will also showcase Bedouin traditions and folklore. “Every evening there will be poetry recitals and music,” said ADACH Director-General Mohammed Khalaf Al Mazrouei, who is also vice-chairman of the organising committee of the festival. “Also, local ladies will set up a souq featuring handicrafts and traditional clothes,” said Al Mazrouei.

“People will come to the festival for two reasons – to enjoy the shows and to enjoy camping in the desert,” Al Mazrouei pointed out.

Indeed, camping will be pretty much the only option for those wanting to enjoy the festival, apart from Liwa Hotel, which is located about 60km from Zayed City. The organisers, though, are offering all necessary facilities for overnight campers.

Hammoud Hamid Al Mansouri, Director-General of Western Region Municipality Council, added that environment protection will not be forgotten during the festival.

“We will provide garbage sacks and encourage everyone not to leave their waste in the sand, while we will also have cleaners who will make sure all rubbish will be collected,” he said.

Burj Dubai View

2008-03-29T13:13:00.007+04:00

So, here is the view of the fog over Dubai from the World's Tallest Building, The Burj Dubai:

Now, I guess there is a little bit of an excuse for the car accident the other day. However, if you build up enough to create a new weather system just around your city, then there should be more preparation for living with the new situations!! My 20-story hotel should be at the bottom, right-hand corner of the picture.... to give you an idea of how tall these buildings stand.

Holidays v 2.0

2008-03-27T19:31:00.000+04:00

So, I completely skipped over my Christmas holiday to Spain. My family met me in Madrid and then, we drove to Valencia. I flew through Amsterdam and did not think about the temperature difference. It was about 70 degrees when I took off and VERY COLD when we landed. I am in flipflops and a tank top. (Yeah, I am one of those snazzy business class travelers!!) When I got to Spain, it was raining. And that was the condition in Madrid most of the time we were there. I was freezing and coming from Dubai, it was a shock that no one spoke English. Everyone here speaks English. The signs are in English. Business is conducted in English. English and service oriented. Spain, especially Madrid, could have cared less that we even tried to speak Spanish. They could not have been more dis-interested with us. Apparently, they thought we were British and there to steal their land or something.

If you are interested, here are some photos and video of the days we spent in Madrid. The car we had was smaller than ANYTHING allowed in the US. The car parks were made to fit the cars with spirals of death as entrances/exits. That is what the video is supposed to be but it was dark and my camera can only do so much!!

Enjoy!!

HATTA

2008-03-24T07:59:00.002+04:00

So, in December, one of my colleagues demanded that I not work the whole day of Saturday and join their trek to Hatta. While I assume that means we would be dune bashing, I was completely wrong- it is the milder, mountainous region of the UAE, near the border of Oman. So, we have a lovely early afternoon of driving through the area and seeing the local sites and then stopping for lunch.

This would be where I ran out of camera battery but the pictures are OK nonetheless. So, we set up a little camp for lunch in the Wadi. A new thing I learned is that a Wadi is is a valley and in some cases, it can refer to a dry riverbed that contains water only during times of heavy rain. Interesting.

So, we finish lunch and it seems that instantly everyone is rushing around to break camp and pack up. I asked what was going on and my coworkers informed me that they didn't like the dark clouds over Oman at that moment because if it rained too hard there, the exact place we were having lunch would be hit with a flash flood; the prior year 13 people had died in the same . I am instantly motivated to the point that they are no longer moving fast enough for me. They inquired as to my new found nagging and I simply reply, "If you knew my friends then you would understand. I moved the the Middle East and live in a desert. If I die in a flash flood, they will never let that go!!"

I heart my friends. They raise the bar.

More Birthday Fun

2008-03-22T19:57:00.003+04:00

So, I had Rugby the weekend before my birthday and my actual birthday on Tuesday and the the "office party" on Thursday afternoon/night. Here are the pictures from the last event; shared with my colleague, who is in the first picture in the album with me. It is weird. We have a small office of about 25 people and there are 2 sets of people who have birthdays on the same days. Must be the water!!

Everything's Bigger in Dubai

2008-03-20T20:33:00.003+04:00

Thank you all for the emails checking on me to make sure I wasn't involved in the 350 car pile up on the border of Abu Dhabi and Dubai. I was not. I was already safely at work! The official story was that the initial accident was caused by fog. Here, people drive with their hazard lights flashing in fog instead of these handy things, called FOG LIGHTS! So, you cannot tell if they are signaling to change lanes. (They don't normally but whatever).

So, there was an accident and cars caught on fire. I believe that is where all this "fog" started. Then, since people here are very busy and cannot be bothered, they would drive in the breakdown lane around the accident scene and hit people as they were getting out of their cars and running away from their burning vehicles. This blocked the emergency vehicles on ground and the smoke from the initial 22 cars prevented the helicopters from assisting.

What have we learned from this? Four words: FOG LIGHTS, DUMB ASSES!! I sit here more confident than ever in the driving capabilities of American citizens. Please watch these videos for further proof. First, this is a normal day in the airport tunnel; and second, they installed a new speed bump and chaos ensued!!

Holidays

2008-02-18T19:31:00.002+04:00

Well, Happy Valentines Day & President's Day to all! I am not very big on either of these holidays (not that anyone is really PUMPED up for President's Day) however, if you are a person with a sense of humor, please send your friends and significant others an e-card with style. I find these to be hilarious and perfect for all your friends; especially the ones who use annoying phrases like "politically correct."

Quick update on me:
-Vacation to Egypt has been canceled. One the upside, my boy, D, will be visiting Dubai instead. What can I say? I promised him a camel ride and it is going to happen, damn it!!
-Work is CRAZY. We are supposed to be done with site work by 29 February. Mission Impossible! (This would be why the vacation has been canceled)
-I am taking Thursday off so there should be some more pictures for your viewing pleasure very shortly!!

Facebook Banned

2008-02-03T19:30:00.000+04:00

So I see that y'all have been sending messages & whatnot on Facebook. I am not being rude... I have a legitimate reason!! Can you believe this fascist crap? Now, before you send me the techie solution, be advises that I work for an IT company and I have already been informed. I don't exactly know how to do it but it will be resolved. Until then, you will have to email me directly or find me on myspace!

That's all from now. Everything is a little crazy in preparation for my big trip to Egypt on the 19th.

Winter is Over

2008-01-23T18:44:00.000+04:00

So after 2 weeks of relative cold and rain, winter seems to have ended. It is still a little chilly and occasionally there is some rain sprinkles but for the most part, it is over. Now, everyone who has lived here for awhile keeps telling me that this will continue on (possibly) thru April. Whatever. No matter how long it lasts, it is not Maine with an average of 10 inches of snow a night. No matter how bad a$$ you think you are; you don't know cold until you get frostbite on any exposed skin in the 15 minute walk to class!

With that said, I am completely behind with posts. Here is what I will be talking about in the next couple of weeks:
-KOA's first trip to the Dubai Police Station!!
-KOA's holiday to Spain
-KOA's New Year
-Even more traffic stories
-Another impressive fight at the Double Decker
-KOA's attempt to get a loaner car while the Focus is being serviced

Not that it is an excuse but for the past two days, I have been trying to post and the site has been completely in Arabic. I couldn't figure out how to change it because the "Language" drop down menu was labeled in a foreign language. We will not even discuss what this says about my Arabic lessons! If you do not believe me, go to the login page and change the language to Arabic and don't forget that it flips everything to the other side of the page!!

Also, I have belated Xmas postcards that will be hitting the Emirates Post this weekend. I am sorry- especially to my sister's friends- for the late delivery but I am very busy. So busy, in fact, that my boss re-considered his rejection of renewing my contract and is in the process of trying to get HR to bribe me to stay. I miss you all but cross your fingers that I can get myself a sweet deal to stay out here another 8-12 months.

Random Day #2

2008-01-15T22:21:00.000+04:00

OK- so it is winter here, a.k.a the rainy season. For the first 2 months of this "season," it was sunny (sometimes foggy in the morning) and at the lowest 70 degrees. Starting on 7 January, however, it got cold. It was 72 degrees at the high point of the day and rain started sprinkling now and again. Then, 2 days ago, it started to rain and it hasn't stopped.

In any normal place, this would just suck. Here, in the desert, no one is ready for rain. The city is simply not built for it. Since they don't have a lot of rain over the year, there is no drainage. None. The water floods all the low areas. And due to the huge amount of construction, the sand runs off and creates these muddy wash outs in the roads. On top of that, no one can drive in the rain. They just run their hazards; making it impossible to know when they are turning or merging. Nice. Add on tons of accidents.

Finally, the buildings are not built to withstand any bad weather. Every building, finished or otherwise, flooding as we speak. The electrical systems go bad so now, we add everyone who made it to work, is stuck in an elevator or has no power in the office. Even our glass panel in the front lobby shattered when the wind picked up. It sounded like an explosion. God forbid if this place ever had a hurricane or an ice storm. They have no idea what to do and I find that to be bizarre. It is one thing not to be used to it but they are acting like this never happens, as opposed to occurring every year!

So, I went to work today. It took 40 minutes to travel a distance that normally takes 10 minutes. Then, I went to site- same deal. I did my Technical Room site walk, yelled at people, and called for the driver. I went to the meeting point, immediately regretting the beige shirt I chose this morning. The meeting place has no cover and I wait an hour for the van. In the meantime, the site closes and 9,000 laborers leave site; walking by me in my now soaking wet shirt. I can safely say that I have cemented my place as the Most Popular Girl on site.

My life is one humiliating event after another. Good thing I don't take it too seriously! Hopefully the rain will stop tomorrow and we can get in to assess the damage of the nearly finished project. I guess we do not need to test out the building cleaning system for leaks!!

Happy New Year + Randomness

2008-01-14T17:33:00.000+04:00

OK, I have been HUGELY late in wishing you all a happy new year. I have TONS of vacation stories and pictures to share! I returned to work on the 7th of January and was informed that our project team will now be working 6 day weeks. This isn't the worst thing ever - as I have been working this schedule for past 3 months - except now, I get paid for the extra day. Bonus.

With that said, there is a huge difference between coming in on a Saturday voluntarily and having that be mandatory. Usually, there is no one there when I used to come in on Saturday and I could get tons of paperwork done (which is never ending and the biggest bottleneck of my job). This past Saturday was horrible.

1) Thursday was a holiday for the Islamic New Year and we worked a half day. I stayed until 4pm because of aforementioned paperwork.
2) Everyone was at work (of course) and all of our subcontractors and clients knew we were working so it was a normal, crazy day. I got nothing done.
3) On Sunday, I had no idea what day it was. I try to keep my team on a strict schedule and this threw a wrench into my system. Then, the random hit us at 4:30 pm...

A public holiday was called in the afternoon for Monday. Let me repeat that. The government of the United Arab Emirates gave the country Monday off of work. Everyone was supposed to stay home. My management was beside themselves. They love to have us work on holidays. I have a month of leave and 3 holidays just waiting to be taken whenever I drop dead from exhaustion. However, we could not get to work. They closed all major roads in Dubai...

Apparently, President George W. Bush is visiting the leaders of the UAE and this is their security plan. Everyone is basically under 12 hour curfew during the day. Seriously. My roommate tried to get to IKEA this morning and hit armed guards and roadblocks at every route! I cannot believe that people living here accepts this. I am an ex-pat so really it is just a day off for me but there have been many problems due to this! I think my final thought on this is that I now feel mildly unsafe here. The situation has been tense since the assassination in Pakistan but I feel that this shows the reality of the current political state here. No one city is a true safe haven for Western travelers in the Middle East; no matter how pretty the hotels are and how many people speak English. I love it here but I am feel that the infrastructure has a long way to go until it is a "developed" country!!

On a completely different note, please let me introduce you to my friend, Craig. I met him randomly in college- now, nearly 11 years ago- and let me tell you that he and my father are the only reasons I can work with engineers today. They have broken my mindset of engineers being impossible. Please listen to Craig's podcasts because they are HILARIOUS! He and his friends are very smart but are still nice, normal, and accessible. I hope you like these as much as I do.

Greetings from Madrid

2007-12-20T21:06:00.000+04:00

Well, I have survived my trip from Dubai to Madrid, via Amsterdam. I will never be warm again. I have not seen under 17C since April and when I got off the plane in Amsterdam, it was -1C! I was in flip flops because that is all I own over here!! I have sneakers today so it was better.

I thought that Amsterdam would be cooler (not temperature-wise) but then again, I only saw the airport. I am a stressed out traveler so leaving for a couple of hours to go to the city sounds like hell to me. Once I arrived in Spain, I met my parents at the airport and did not get a visa stamp. It was weird. In Amsterdam, I had to go through customs to get to the other terminal. Here, no one checked anything. One would think they would be more vigilant. I guess since they pulled out of Iraq, they are feeling pretty confident.

Anyway, today we went to the Camille Claudel Exhibit at the International Cultural Center. If you have a chance to see her sculpture, it is really amazing. She studied under Rodin and may have actually been responsible for some of the sculptures in which he is credited for today. That event plus lunch and fighting the traffic in the rain took up most of our day. Now, I need siesta before dinner at 9pm!!

Don't worry- plenty of pictures to come!

Happy Holidays

2007-12-19T01:46:00.000+04:00

Well, I am off to Spain to meet my family for Christmas. This is impede (even more) my ability to post on the blog. I hope that you all enjoyed the Rugby pictures and have a safe and happy holiday season. I will post even more photos as soon as I can!

Rugby Pictures

2007-12-15T21:08:00.000+04:00

As promised, here is my attempt to share my 100 photos from my 2 days of mayhem. I am sure that my friends, who are well versed at e-stalking, will tell me if this is a bad idea. If it is, I will figure out an alternative!!

RUGBY

2007-12-11T19:47:00.000+04:00

To close out the 3rd decade of my life, I spent the last weekend of my 20s at the Dubai Rugby 7s! Let me tell you that it was a bizarre experience. I have been to many drunken sporting events in my life but they have all been American. Being that this sport is qualified as "gentlemen acting like thugs" (as opposed to soccer), the crowd was drastically different. Everyone was drinking at 9am but there were no real fights and very limited security. Everyone was very chill- like the Woodstock of sport. Not to say that it was without drama. Apparently, people are VERY concerned with how their team competes. Since the US only scored once in 2 days of play, I chose my favorite team by match or surrounding fans. I have now found that this approach to rugby is not appreciated by "serious rugby fans"- whatever, I was born in a true first-world country where your opinion doesn't count! Yeah, I am such a great world traveler! Here are some of my observations:
1) England's song is "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot"- this is an American spiritual song sung by slaves. I thought that was the most random choice.
2) The organizers only had one CD of songs to play because by day 2, I never wanted to hear the following songs EVER AGAIN:
-Sweet Caroline
-Is This The Way To Amarillo
-Hey Baby
3) People will wear anything (or close to nothing) in public in a Muslim country
4) I did the conversion after the weekend and a 12 pack of Heineken beer with a cloth cooler was close to $80 USD! I am glad that I didn't think about that at the time.... I am mildly unhappy with the close to 10 coolers sitting in my apartment- we drank WAY too much expensive beer!
5) They imported cheerleaders from all over the world to be the international squad touring with the groups. I have no words for these girls except they do fit my normal views of cheerleaders.
6) The "Stadium Food" was officially PIES. I thought this was weird since people were walking around selling pies. Then, we got a round of pies. They were chicken pot pies..... little ones for personal eating. Gross.

OK, I am going to try to share the pictures of this day on Webshots tomorrow. I hope it works. Let me know if you have problems and I will just email you the link or whatever!!!

Dubai Airshow

2007-12-01T15:19:00.000+04:00

I am not even sure how to describe this experience. Let me preface this with the observation that people here are not at all concerned with personal space. If you have seen video of Indian trains or buses, you would understand. It is like a clown car- hundreds of people packed into a space designed for 60 people tops.

I decided to go to the Airshow last minute. I had a ticket since our company had a booth at the event. I pre-registered online and caught a ride over with a colleague, who had a much sought-after parking pass. It took us nearly an hour to get 4 miles down the road to the Expo. I hate traffic- especially when someone else is driving. We park and get on the line for pre-registered ticket holders. The other line was hundreds of people long. In normal Arab fashion, we walked to the front of the line and they let 2 of us in because we were women. Then we stood in line and gave the lady our ticket. She scanned it and told us to get our name badge at the next counter; they would call out our name. There were 100 people shoving each other in front of me and 10 minutes later, my name gets called. They can't see me in the mosh pit so I shove my way forward. 15 MINUTES later, when I get to the side of the booth, they will not stop calling names and give me my tag. Finally, after I spot my tag, someone hands it to me. The crowd sees that I got my tag before them and surge forward. Now, I am a 6ft tall bad ass and I was trapped. The police guards came over to pull me out.

I was unhappy about the experience. I was crazed with thoughts about how this would never happen at an industry event in any first world country! I then went through security and set off the metal detector. Again, I head to the booth to get patted down by a Muslim woman. Like I am sneaking in weapons into the Airshow?!! By this time, nearly 3 hours had passed since we had left the office so we hurried up to go see the A380 fly, stopped at the both to say hi and then headed home. If I had paid for that ticket, I would have been very pissed off!

I think I am done with Airshows for awhile!!

Roommates

2007-11-28T14:54:00.000+04:00

I live in a hotel, essentially. It is a corporate apartment in a hotel complex. Generally, I love it.

Plus Side:
1) Hotel things: room service, free pool, gym, concierge, etc.
2) Maid Service
3) Restaurants/ grocery store within the complex
4) Underground parking

Negative Side:
1) Hotel things: when someone checks out we all need to get new keys. I hate that!
2) Everyone addresses me as "Ms. Kate" or "Madame"
3) Maid Service never comes at the same time- during the week, they come in the evening and on the weekends they come in at like 8am!!
4) ROOMMATES

Since this is a 3 bedroom apartment, other people come and live here while they are over here working for the company. They come for stays ranging 1 night to 4 months! Short timers, however, are almost on vacation. They have a huge amount of questions and want to do all the touristy things at the last minute. I try to appease them by stopping at the camel farm on the way home from work for them to take pictures and explaining things as best I can- but it becomes tedious. Then we have the special roommates that bring the drama.

1) The Hippie- he and his wife came here and and stayed for 3 weeks. They were crazy. They asked for a quiet room with lots of birds outside and greenery. We thought they were joking. They weren't. They complained when the bar downstairs was checking their sound system loudly at 5 pm! They filled the fridge with weird soy and tofu products and never really washed dishes- just rinsed them. They also left me a "Jesus Saves" DVD and directions to the nearest christian church. Apparently, they are worried about my immortal soul or something!

2) The Scottish Alcoholic- he came and was supposed to stay for a long time. He started divorce proceedings and went a little nuts. He drank most of the bar and started skipping work. He also racked up a $32,000 AED (approximately $8,700 USD) in international calls to Scotland to fight with his soon-to-be ex. He moved out in October and we are still finding empty bottles hidden around the apartment!!

3) The Tulsa OCD Gal- she was great! She would follow me around and pick up after me. However, when she had some beers, she would tweek out. We were planning a Halloween party and in 30 minutes in the car, she went over what we needed to buy about 45 times. I suggested that we make a list later and she couldn't let it go. That is annoying, especially when I am sober. Then, when we had plans, she would insist on inviting EVERYONE! I swear that total strangers were invited to get manicures with us. We all know that I hate people so this would piss me off to no end.

And most recently:
4) The Asian-Enthusiast from Oklahoma- this guy has been here for 2 weeks and leaves in December. I cannot wait for that day. He moved in last Friday and immediately went to the mall. He came back a friend, Yang Yang. (Think of Dubai as the Vegas of the Middle East- everything that happens in Vegas happens here but it is cheaper and the government turns a blind eye to the rampant prostitution and horrible living conditions of its labor and poor). He proceeds to bring this chick to a company BBQ... oh, and she speaks ZERO English. She spent the weekend here. As I type this, he has 2 new friends over for the evening. I am not even upset. Just shocked at the behavior. I know that all guys are not like this but here, they are allowed by the culture to do whatever they please, without repercussion.

If I were not here, I wouldn't believe this was my life either....

Happy Thanksgiving

2007-11-24T14:28:00.000+04:00

I know that it is very early on Saturday for most of you on the EST lifestyle- but I hope that you all had a great Turkey Day! Don't worry about me; Thanksgiving was hosted by my (British) Engineering Director, my favorite Software Development Engineer and me! We cooked for about 18 people... well, they cooked; I supervised and managed to provide an excellent desert menu. One cannot have a semi-traditional Thanksgiving dinner without Bourbon Pecan Pie. Mad props to Chad for such a great discovery!!

In other news, work has become mildly all-consuming. I cannot blame my slacker-ness on work alone. I will also blame it on my roommates (but that will be a separate post altogether- if I can even bear to type the drama out!) I did, however, manage to get tickets for Christmas in Madrid to see my family! Now, if I can find time to plan my vacation to Cairo with Duane-o, I will be making good steps toward the inevitable workaholic lifestyle!

I have started a million entries to this blog and have not finished a single one. Then again, I started my laundry a week ago and it still isn't done either!! For anyone who knows me, they understand that I get distracted by shiny things and have trouble finishing tasks. I have a million pictures that I need to post for y'all as well!! Please keep checking for updates to the blog and I will try to get a little less distracted. Also, if you have sent me an email; my average response time is around a month! I am sorry!

I miss you all!!!!

Illness, part 2

2007-10-29T20:44:00.000+04:00

Since karma has a great sense of irony, once I posted that blip about how much I hope that I do not get sick over here..... now I have the flu. Or a bad head cold. I cannot tell. I can barely stand and I have missed 2 days of work. What a slacker I am!!

On the bright side, I must say that I am very happy about the RED SOX winning the World Series (even though I cannot watch American sports as they come on at like 1-3am in the morning)!!
And that very few people have bothered me while I am resting. I have also enjoyed the surge of email! I miss you all so much!

Besides the germ infestation of my body- I got nothing going on. Once I get back in the saddle (last week was not the best performance this world has ever seen from me), I promise to do something fun and write about it. Also, I am trying to figure out a way to post pictures- lots of pictures and videos- for you all to see without becoming some sort of YouTube Freak that you see on a Vh1 Show. More to come....

I heart my Bus Pub

2007-10-20T21:27:00.000+04:00

For a Muslim country, they are surprisingly down with the drinking. This is ideal for me! It is one of my most favorite activities. There are many restaurants, a grocery store, and a PUB in my hotel complex. The Double Decker, now nicknamed The Bus by my former roommate, The Hot Nutty Irishman. After a long day on the construction site, I like to have a drink. During the week, The Bus hands these out to the ladies:

Since my JD and ginger ales are not included, my roommates will buy my drink and I will get their beers with my tickets! I love this system.

The first time we were working this out, I went to the bar to buy a beer and it was not included as well. I tried to pay for it but random patrons at the bar insisted that they pay for it. Normally, I do not turn down free drinks. However, this drink was not for me. I was not sure how the men at the bar were going to react to finding out that they were buying a guy; not me, a drink. So, in true college style, I thanked them, took a few sips of the beer while talking to them and then, returned to the table and made the recipient hide the beer while he drank it. The Hot Nutty Irishman did call me a tart but I am OK with that since he is still drinking the beers I get him. I am nothing if not a classy broad.

Road Trips!

2007-10-18T08:13:00.000+04:00

So, if you can imagine a place where your commute to work can change during the time you are at work, you can imagine Dubai. Driving here is a challenge because you have to accomplish it without the normal tools. I use maps, Google Earth, and co worker's advice daily and still manage to get lost ALL THE TIME.

I have been here almost 6 months and have been driving since August. Today, I went to the Post Office. It took 2 hours to find it. Once I figured out where it was, got my package (PS: THE CAMERA HAS ARRIVED), fought with customs, and drove home, I found that it should have taken me 15 minutes in midday traffic for me to get there!!

The roads here change so quickly that none of the maps are up to date. Basically, you have to identify landmarks that determine when you have gone too far. None of the roads make sense and there is no universal way to build exits. Some of them are what Americans would expect; the clover leaf. Here, even if it looks like a clover leaf, sometimes the leaf is not a smooth curve and suddenly, you have to turn sharply. It is almost like they plan it as they build it and adjust for miscalculations at the last minute.

Now, this may seem hilarious to you but let me assure you that I am improving. My roommates and I went to the liquor store before Ramadan to stock up and with 2 navigators and maps, it took us 8 hours to make a trip that should have taken 2 at the most. I always pack water now on road trips to squelch my fears of dying in the desert!!

Little Things

2007-10-17T19:59:00.000+04:00

So, I am still amused at small differences here. Most of these things consist of the fact that this country caters to English speakers but is still Arabic to the core. Things that seem like they should be English... especially American things.... still throw me at first. For example: It also opens on the opposite side, since Arabic is read from right to left! (During my cultural training, I passed by referring to this as the opposite of Western reading, as opposed to the "wrong direction" - a common mistake of Western business persons!!) Now, I will be getting my Rosetta Stone for Arabic at the end of this week. I am hoping that magazines are still written at a 4th grade level so I can read the article with such inflammatory pictures below (also the reason that this entry does not have child-friendly **s): I would not presume to understand the politics of this region fully but I would think that they would hire a PR rep to help them understand what images would get a reaction out of people. Any American living in the Middle East is not going to be super happy with this. The cover story is about the gun problem in Iraq so I would be interested to see how this is tied into burning the American flag. I will keep you updated as I get the article translated!

I am an Auntie

2007-10-16T22:40:00.000+04:00

Big news!! I am an Auntie Kate yet again! One of my most famous and infamous drinking buddies from college has settled down and welcomed his first son to our happy family of misfits! Junior came to us on the 13th of October- happy and healthy. I was so excited that I did not ask for normal vitals associated with babies but he was around 6 lbs. Currently, he is resting at home and his new dad has started to read him The Wall Street Journal- no need to put off his education!

Congrats to the new baby! You have fallen in the correct place as my most favorite thing to do is spoil my honorary nieces and nephews!! I heart you already!

Every 60 days!

2007-10-15T17:40:00.000+04:00

So, I am here in Dubai on a visitor visa. This is good for 60 days at a time. That means that until I get my residency visa, I fly out of the country every 60 days and then fly right back. This wastes about 3-4 hours of my day but is always an interesting adventure. The first trip to Doha, Qatar: This trip was in the morning and allowed me 2 extra breakfasts, in addition to the one I had at home! However, since I look like trouble, I was detained in Doha. I am still not sure what happened. I arrived, checked in for my next flight and they told me to sit down and wait. They took my passport and boarding pass to the desk. I waited. They argued in Arabic for awhile. I went back up to ask what the problem was. The 2 security guards escorted me back to my seat. Ironically, my IPOD was playing "Bombs Over Baghdad" by Outcast. I changed it in case they were watching me that closely with bionic ears! Everyone got on the bus to take them to the plane. I repeated my inquiry above with the same result. Now, I am 3 minutes away from scheduled take off time and they return my paperwork with no explanation and send me to the plane. I have the worst luck! The second trip to Muscat, Oman: I thought that Doha was a crap airport. It is super compared to Muscat. Muscat seems to fit my idea of what a Middle Eastern airport would look like.... it is in the desert with industrial buildings surrounding it. There are about 8 gates in the entire place. I checked in at my return gate and there was some discussion regarding my passport. Then, the lady asked me to fill out a survey about the airport. In an effort to avoid another "incident," I asked her for a pen to fill it out. She said that she didn't have one. On principle, now I cannot fill out the survey. I had a pen in my bag but if your job is to get people to fill out surveys, you should have writing utensils. Not to mention, you are at work, there is nothing in that desk. She didn't understand. I sat down and kept the survey. On the way home, we received this sticker with our headsets: I was unsure where you were supposed to stick these. I thought about the forehead, shoulder, etc. Then, I turned it over and realized that I am not the only retarded person. Apparently, enough people are stupid so there needed to be picture instructions, like IKEA: My next adventure is coming up later this week. Hopefully, y'all won't see me on the news!!

Extreme Driving

2007-10-14T06:33:00.000+04:00

Let me say that I LOVE DRIVING IN DUBAI. It is like driving in DC when there are only tourists and people from Maryland on the roads.... but with no rules or blinkers. The only rule is that if you make eye contact with anyone, that is the signal for them to merge. So, you continue to drive with blinders and expect everyone to cut you off with no warning and lots and lots of honking. In addition, safety is NON EXISTENT. There are no seat belt rules and all children stand in the back of their parents cars as they talk on their cell phones and chain smoke. I don't even know if they know what a car seat is! Its madness!!

Now that I have set the scene, I must say that I was much better when I was driving the beater car. Yes, it smelled and there was some sort of stick on tinting on the back window that rendered it useless, but with the new car, I am a little too scared to be as aggressive. I got this Focus with 77km on the odometer. Being American, I have no idea how much that is but I have never had a car under 100 anything. Hell, I don't think I have had anything under 20,000 anything.

Since the most common question I have received since I got the car has been: What are you going to do when you get caught *fill in with speeding or any number of driving offenses.* Well, I would like to remind everyone that I am a very good driver. Despite Dubai not understanding the traffic circle or the use of speed bumps, they have the speeding under control. They have cameras everywhere. Actually, they have camera boxes everywhere. Only some of them have cameras and during the day, they won't flash either way, so you generally only speed if you can afford the fines. The fines accumulate and you pay once a year when you renew your registration. There are no points unless you do something to actually make the police pull you over. I don't know what that would consist of but my manager was able to do it and land a nice "driving recklessly" ticket. Mad props there!!

I am sure with the new wheels - y'all can expect a whole bunch of road stories. I am so much trouble!

Ramadan Karim!

2007-10-13T20:57:00.000+04:00

OK, so Ramadan just ended here (actually, everywhere, I guess). For those of you who do not know (like myself), Ramadan is the holy month of the Muslim calendar. It follows a lunar cycle and involves fasting (no water or food) during the daylight hours, no smoking, and generally acting well for a month to sort of set yourself up for the rest of the year. Most religions have something similar so you can self-evaluate once a year. However, I jumped into the deep end since I got to celebrate my first Ramadan in a Muslim country.

On the first day of Ramadan (and with my usual "sensitivity"), I committed a faux pas. Luckily, I have prepared everyone with my stupid question and dumb jokes since April... so I was cut a little slack. Since the appropriate greeting is "Ramadan Karim" (pronounced "Ka-reem"), everyone was using this. A coworker said it to me and since Kareem is a name in the US, I asked if all the Ramadan's were named.... like hurricanes. I feel this question was justified and sadly, they just laughed at me. Fortunately, I can use Google and found that it means "Generous Ramadan" as it is a month where all Muslims are supposed to help those less fortunate than themselves. I hope my mistakes save you all some embarrassment. It is too late for me... obviously!

Over the month of Ramadan, I was lucky enough to be included in many Iftar's - the daily meal Muslims eat when they break fast at sunset. Everywhere has Iftar specials. I mean everywhere - from the fancy hotels to Pizza Hut and KFC! I will be posting pictures as soon as I get an appropriate picture host!

My favorite "commercial" aspect of the month was the universal need for car salesman to use a holiday to sell cars. On the radio, there were tons of commercials starting, "Celebrate the holy month of Ramadan and make it memorable for your family by coming to Al-Whomever's Auto Sales and get zero down on a new BMW!!" I almost drove off the road; I was laughing so hard!!

Now, that Ramadan is over and we are back to normal hours of work and there is no dehydrated road rage on the commute home every day, Eid Mubarak (Happy Eid Festival marking the end of Ramadan)!!

Illness

2007-10-13T12:43:00.000+04:00

As a general rule, one can get all western items here in Dubai. The UAE is very liberal in its Muslim rules and has made many efforts to accommodate tourists. However, when you get sick here, it is a different story.

I have not gone to the hospital for any ailments yet. I am not sure how sick I would have to be to do that but everyone I know who has gone has had no problems. And, the pharmacy does not have the same regulation as they would in the US so they will sell things like antibiotics over the counter. Being a firm believer in drugs, I support this in some cases.... like if you call a doctor and they tell you what to get. I, personally, have no idea what to ask for so this perk is not so helpful to me.

For all of you who are immediately planning your trips to Dubai to stock up on restricted drugs, stop. They do not have pain killers available anywhere but in the hospital. No one holds up the pharmacy for Oxycontin here. However, that is not what I have an issue with
.... there is no NyQuil here. None. It has alcohol in it so they do not sell it. And they do not sell it in the liquor stores either! This is unacceptable. That is my one tool to fight colds and continue my normal life.

I did get a cold here initially and this is what one of my coworkers gave me for it:
I was too scared to open it (hence the glare from the herbs still inside), let alone take it. The label reads, "CENTURIES OLD HERBAL TEA FOR FLU, COUGH, COLD, CATTARH, IRRITATION OF THROAT AND FEVER IN INSTANT FORM. USAGE: DISSOLVE ONE PACK IN A CUP OF HOT WATER OR TEA AND SIP SLOWLY USE THRICE A DAY"

Umm, no thanks! I am not taking this "thrice a day" for something that cures everything!! Let's all pray that I never get a real cold here.

Desert Madness!

2007-10-05T22:22:00.000+04:00

"So, no postings for a month, right?

I know, I know. I have been busy and a little homesick.

That is no excuse. People want to know what is going on with you. You could be dead and no one would know. Tell us what is going on!"

Above is a summary of all the emails and voice mails I have received over the past couple of weeks. I have cleaned up the language for the younger audience but message received. Here we go:

1) Quick update:
- New Camera has been ALL OVER THE WORLD. Expected delivery date will be Monday. Pictures will be loaded to Webshots for your viewing pleasure (as soon as I work out the kinks & actually take pictures.)

- The Promotion is finalized and official. I have successfully negotiated and received approximately half of what I asked for (not to be confused with "what I am worth" but all in time, grasshopper)

- They leased me a car. Heh. This will be the topic of many posts in the near future. Currently, I am driving a beater Civic while I wait for the new Focus to arrive. Expected Sunday but we will see.

- It is currently the Muslim Holy Month of Ramadan. Ramadan Kareem for all Muslims who may read my page. (It could happen - some people think I am interesting).

-Mad props out to my niece who just joined the Brownies (so I have the cookie hook up for those of you in need of a fix) and my nephew who just moved up 13 places in his National BMX ranking. They are perfect and obviously take after their aunt!

Now, the postings will come more often. Sometimes it is hard to type out stories so I will try to keep it up with it. I miss you all!

TV Shows & Talking Smack

2007-08-31T19:01:00.000+04:00

I know that I blog about the lamest things but this strikes me as hilarious (and seriously, you don't have to read this- you could work instead!!)

The TV programming here has allowed me to catch up on a range of shows. I can watch Veronica Mars and The O.C. from the beginning. I can ruin the end of the Sopranos by accidentally watching an episode I haven't seen yet. I can also watch Out of This World from 1987!!! I couldn't believe this was on and was so excited since this was one of my most favorite shows when I was 9 years old.

I miss MTV, VH1, and my soap a lot more than I thought I would. I also miss having movies that are not edited or that have DVD Menus in Russian. I will survive, of course, but I still crave mindless American TV.

I have also become sensitive to how the US is perceived here. I think that CNN and the latest movies are the only peephole most Arabs will ever have into our country. There is no concept of normal life and culture. Some would argue that we do not have culture but I would have to disagree. We take for granted that we grow up in a country that demands (and receives) a transparent view of our leaders; feel entitled to freedom of speech; and have the ability and expectation to see 2 sides to every argument/ issue. Maybe Sean Penn does not speak for all of us.

I also have the sibling dilemma here. If you have siblings, you will understand that you can be mean and insult your brothers and sisters. You can even hate them until someone else acts the same way to them. Then, its on. You will defend them to the end. I have the same feelings about my country as I live over here. I can be mad about foreign policy or government spending but let someone talk smack about the US and I am the first one pointing out that they have no idea what they are talking about.

My roommate's brother and friends were visiting us for a week from Ireland and we expressing their opinions about President Bush and the war in Iraq. Normally, I avoid these conversations to keep the peace. However, in this case, how dare they? I would never assume to understand what it is like to live in Ireland and why y'all keep blowing each other up over religion. How could I possibly understand those issues since it isn't my country? So, step off with your critiques and when Ireland is a major world power, come back and talk some smack.

That is my rant for today!!

More Office Antics

2007-08-21T18:45:00.001+04:00

So, last Thursday (which is our Friday) was my manager's last day. Management left early, as management universally is prone to doing, so we were left to our own devices. Here is what happened:

He agrees to the pitch.....
Batter up....Strike! (Or homerun... who knows)This went on forever! I would say that it prevented me from working but I was enjoying the show WAY TOO MUCH! (Post Script: That large bubble-wrapped object is one of my display screens- that is right folks, when you want to find out which gate your flight is departing from.... I make sure there is a screen there to tell you! My job the most boring thing I have ever heard of)

My little life: update

2007-08-09T23:36:00.000+04:00

So, first, I ordered my fabulous, FIRST real camera since I was 10 years old. I know... I am mildly behind the times! Since this color is sold out all over the UAE (I am serious- I have been to nearly 50 electronics stores), I have just ordered it at home and am relying on my mommy to send it to me. Yeah, I am such a grown up!!

Second, I got a snazzy new work phone. See the fun Arabic letters on the keys! (The language will always be a novelty to me- I can't help it!!)Lastly, I have officially been offered a promotion at work! I will need to work nearly a million hours a week to do the job well but hopefully I will be well compensated. Actually, let me rephrase: I will not accept the position without lots of money. I am tired of being treated like a child because I am not 45 and a man. Wish me luck. I may get deported tonight!! ;-)

Talk to the Hat

2007-08-06T17:31:00.000+04:00

I was just on the normal ride home from work when in the far lane of the road, two laborers broke into a FIGHT!! I, personally, would never pick a 44C day with 80% humidity to exert myself. However, after a long day on the construction site, the "yo momma" jokes must have been too much for someone and it was on!! In the 3 real seconds of this fight (before it turned into wrestling), there was some shoving which turned into the throw down: a hard hat punch to the side of the face.

Let me repeat that: This guy hit another guy with his hard hat.

This is brilliant. I have never laughed so hard. How can you trash talk that? He is the man! Shut the hell up or I will sucker punch you with my safety gear. My roommates and I have decided that this tactic should be applied in our office. Everyone has their own hard hats so the element of surprise will be crucial.

I feel that this knowledge is power.

Camelicious

2007-08-03T07:28:00.000+04:00

I have put off trying the camel milk to date. Then, in the grocery store last weekend, I tried to pump myself up to try some Camelicious Milk. However, I talked myself into it by picking:
Strawberry milk!! Sadly, I can't remember the last time I had strawberry milk so I don't believe it was a good comparison. I will try the normal milk and get back to everyone. (From what I remember of strawberry milk, this isn't too different!)

The Site- Reloaded

2007-07-31T21:58:00.000+04:00

Despite my absolute refusal to ever go to site again, my exiting manager decided that I needed to go on a Site Walk to inspect a series of mock ups. I am working to build the next concourse of the airport; specifically the displays that tells you the flight information and the speaker system that annoys you while you try to make last minute phone calls. Right now, there is minimal air conditioning and temporary power so inside the site is only slightly more bearable than outside.

I walk around with these important people and get my usually work out. For those of you who do not know me, I am a big gal, who smokes and hates vegetables, working out, and hypocrites. The last item was just for your information and has little to do with this story. My manager was convinced that I was overreacting to the situation by only referring to site as "The Gauntlet" (I can also be a drama queen). However, he was proven wrong when we went to site today. Every laborer stopped working to stare at me as I walked by. Not staring like we do in the states when we are picking a bar fight but staring like the other people in that dream you have when you show up at school naked.

I am now thinking that it is actually the fact that I turn this fun shade of purple when I am hot and exercising in 122 degree weather. I think they know to stare at pretty.... which is exactly what I am walking around site. Nice post script though: I swear I lose 5 lbs. every time I do a site walk so if this picks up, I will never have to go to the gym ever again!!

The First Trip to Site

2007-07-27T17:24:00.000+04:00

Currently, I work off-site- in a nice, air-conditioned office. I go to site to meet with people in air-conditioned trailers. Sadly, I was required to go to yet another safety training yesterday. I went to site with 2 of my colleagues and made my way into the East Ramp and down to the 5th basement of what will eventually be the new terminal of the airport.

Instantly, I stick out. My male colleagues notice. While there are women that work in the offices on site, there is rarely a woman rocking the steel toed and heeled boots, safety vest, and hard hat who is 6 ft. tall and white with blond hair. There are thousands upon thousands of laborers working on this construction site; mostly from Pakistan and India. I met a bunch of them yesterday as I made quite the disruption walking around on site.

My colleagues quickly realize how wonderful this is. We can walk in the road (not on the pedestrian area- which is longer) and they stop traffic for me. I got to cut to the front of the lines for area permits. Crowds of men who have been living in labor camps for years stare and whistle. I have decided that I will not be able to go to site alone. Ever. I am used to people staring but this is the most unbelievable thing I have ever experienced!!

How do you say?

2007-07-25T21:06:00.000+04:00

I hear the above phrase all the time. Most of the Arab men I work with went to British schools and are desperate to learn American English.... especially the slang. I am not a great influence since I swear like a sailor and have mastered the art of putting the perfect insult together.

(If you have a queasy stomach or do not like gross things- please stop reading now)
The other day, my office mate groaned. I asked him if he was OK and he replied (like most of my friends, who are completely open about all bodily functions), "No, I don't feel good. I need to go to the bathroom."

The conversation could have stopped there. It really didn't need to have gone that far already.

He stands up and yells:
"Katie-Kate, How do you say? Huh? Wait.... I am going to blow it up!! The bathroom... get it?"

I do. I can't believe how funny this is. My reply has to be:
"Dude, first, I don't need to know you like that. Second, Americans get nervous when Arabs yell 'I am going to blow it up!!' so let's not do that again."

He still finds this to be the funniest thing ever! I am a fly strip for inappropriate!

Car Show!

2007-07-25T20:47:00.000+04:00

I know I have mentioned some of the dangers of traffic/driving here in Dubai. I left out their complete obsession (and lack of basic concept understanding) of the traffic circle and speed humps.

The traffic circles are EVERYWHERE and usually 3-4 lanes wide. Even in the simple 2 lane circle, anyone can exit from any lane. This can cause some problems when others are trying to merge into traffic and both lanes can either exit or continue round! It is like getting into double dutch jumping! In some cases, they have just given up and put in traffic lights on the circles. This completely defeats the purpose but who am I to judge.

The only thing that outnumbers circles are speed humps. Humps- not bumps. These will bottom out a small SUV. It is also common to see some poor guy stuck with a Lamborghini that will not even come close to clearing it. The hilarious part about people here is that the gas is so cheap, they don't care. They will speed up to 60 mph and then slam on their breaks for the hump. Pointless.

I will not even get into safety issues now. I could write a book on how crazy people are when left to their own judgment!!

The very cool aspect about the location has already been mentioned. It is a car show here every day. Leaving work, we spotted this custom job on the back of a flat bed (most likely because if the humps): I was also in the parking garage at the mall and saw this parked with all the crappy cars: Seriously dude. If you can afford this car; you can afford valet.

Everyday is like "Gone in 60 Seconds" and if you are feeling brave, see what that does to people on YouTube by searching "crazy arabs" Hours of entertainment!!

StormCenter- Day 3

2007-07-25T19:45:00.000+04:00

This is the 3rd day of my very first SANDSTORM!!! I was very excited about the sandstorm concept. If one lives in a normal desert, they seem to be crazy out of control! This is what I expected from pictures in Iraq: Awesome, right? I guess that these do occur here and they are like rainstorms in Florida- intense, dangerous, and about 15 minutes long!

In this particular case, the urban sprawl and the location of Dubai has created another ecosystem- trapping moisture and humidity off the gulf and sand from the desert. Over the past 2 decades, they have started to get clouds year round here. Anyway- back to the weather at hand.... This is what my first sandstorm has looked like since Sunday: What a let down! Not to mention, this is the most annoying weather place ever. You are sticky all the time from the humidity and then sand sticks to you.

Diet Coke Madness!

2007-07-23T13:55:00.000+04:00

So, I received some amusing emails regarding my earlier Diet Coke posting. The first, and by far the funniest, was from my most favorite man in Bucksport, Maine.

He says, "The diet coke thing is simple. The rest of the world had coke lite (and it is disgusting everyplace) only to make America look so good. All the rest of the world buys it, but you can always get a smile when you see an American have their first taste of the crap. The expression could be used by movie directors to teach actors the look of losing their best friend. It is even intensified if the traveling American has gone a few weeks without diet coke."

This is the best description EVER! I laughed out loud and that rarely happens from an email!

The close second was more practical from one of may bad ass girlfriends, who has recently returned from a tour in Iraq and knows my pain firsthand:

She says, "I can totally relate about Middle East diet coke. My solution was switching to Diet Pepsi which is a LOT better. The stuff we had has Turkish on it and it said "Harika Tat." We all actually started calling it "Harika tat." Take the pepsi challenge and report back to me."

Now, I took the Pepsi challenge and it has spawned another new dilemma (that's about par for most things in my life)

New problem:
While this turned out to be a more fabulous picture of my manicure, that label also state, "NOT TO BE USED BY PHENYLKETONURICS" I am a little germaphobic so I instantly wikipedia-ed "Phenylketonuria"

I am assuming that I do not have this recessive gene since I have been drinking diet soda here for awhile. Did I miss something? Is this on labels at home? On a post script, the Pepsi is much better but still drastically different from the US. I am just going to have to get over it as it is one of the few things that isn't nice over here

Semi Charmed Life

2007-07-23T07:06:00.001+04:00

I just realized on Friday that I live a very "princess" life. This is made possible by the company- provided accommodations and the tax free country in which I reside. This frees up funding for the fact that I take taxis everywhere and spend a lot of time participating in Dubai's national pastime: shopping.

On Friday, I went to the mall to buy some camping gear (Don't ask) and called for a taxi. A Mercedes shows up and takes me to the mall. Sadly, this is when I realized that my life is not normal. It is fake because there is no way I could afford my lifestyle in a first world country but abnormal for the moment. Last night, I went to get my nails done and again, rode to my mundane errand in a spiffy Lexus!! I am trying to avoid getting used to this as "service" in the US has a completely different meaning.

On a less self-involved note, on Saturday, I became the neighbor of the World's Tallest Building, Burj Dubai. As they completely the 141st floor on Saturday, the "Burj" surpassed Taiwan's 508m (1,667ft) Taipei 101 Building. They will not say how tall they are making the Burj because there is some industry competition or whatever weird thing architects do to compete with each other. So, if I hear anything, I will be sure you all are the first to know.

There is no excuse

2007-07-16T18:23:00.000+04:00

I am the worst blogger in the world. There are some systemic problems with me blogging.

1) I am lazy. I never finish anything. Right now, I have started 8 entries and not one has been completed!! (Such a slacker!)

2) Since I have committed some horrible act in a past life, karma continues to punish me. This new job has fallen victim to my normal employment curse!! I have arrived, started work, and then my boss quits. There is shuffling that usually ends up with me doing all the work for the low, low price of my current salary. The latter part of that will not happen this time- I will quit first.

3) I have my first desert cold... and it sucks a whole bunch. They do not sell NyQuil here because of the alcohol content so self-medicating is not really helping. I can buy absinthe at the liquor store but no cold medicine without a license!! This is most likely not helping my attitude about #2. Then again, I am not really a team player. I only play one for 8 hours a day!!

So, thank you all for the hate mail. I am getting peer pressured into keeping up with the diary however, sadly, my life is about to get very boring with the increased responsibility. Maybe I will just change my blog into "How not to build an Airport when money is not an object"

More to come. Soon. I swear.

Office Pranks

2007-07-08T22:27:00.000+04:00

Once upon a time, there was a boy in Dubai who went to high school. Like all high schools across the world, they required their students to wrap their school books in brown paper. (At home, we used grocery bags but you know what I mean) This boy lived in Dubai, a small community at the time, and attended a private school with his 2 sisters. He decided not to wrap his books. Over and over again, his teachers asked him to comply. He refused. He was sent to the Principal's office and she asked, "Why didn't you cover your books in brown paper?" With a straight face, he told her that his family was too poor and couldn't afford brown paper. Silence. Then, "You realize that I know your family and you are not poor." No deal. No paper. Defiance (as much as you can in high school) Many years later, that same boy grew up and started working at a company with his sister. He was moving back to Dubai from the US and was gone for 3 weeks. His sister randomly tells the brown paper story and his evil co-workers run with it.
Defiant no more! I don't know if you have ever considered what it takes to individually wrap every item on your desk but I am sure you are thinking about it now. Let me tell you that from work boots to mouse pad to paper clips, it takes a team of 5-7 approximately 1 hour to get a pretty good result! Highly recommended to any office mate with a sense of humor.

PS) We completely blamed his kid sister for the idea. Literally.

Arabic Ranch Dressing

2007-07-08T22:24:00.000+04:00

Quick SAT question....Yogurt Is to Arabs as Ranch is to Who? That's right. I feel like that Mike kid on the 4th season of the Real World (if you are too young to remember this, that was the first London season). Why has no one ever heard of Ranch dressing? They sell it here but no one seems to use it. I am quickly getting used to the fact that yogurt is on everything. It is really their answer to ranch dressing in the US. It comes on all my salads and is the only reason I can eat any of the Indian food here. They have a range from the cottage cheese type to a watery type with onions in it. It is slowly becoming one of my food groups against my will!

Oral Fixation Mints

2007-07-05T18:40:00.000+04:00

I found these at the local gas station and thought they were hilarious (I also found out they were expensive- Freaking $4 USD for the tin). These particular kind is "Night Light; Caffeinated Chai Mint." I am not a fan of chai but all the other things sounded good (side note: after trying the mints, still not a fan of the chai)

Then I visited the website and found out that they are designer mints. Who would have thought that I had such great taste. I am sure there is something in these that will eventually kill me. Look at how menacing they are! NO!! FIX!!

They are made in Hopewell, NJ at a place called The Chocolate Factory so really, this post has nothing to do with Dubai at all!!

Independence Day

2007-07-04T22:27:00.000+04:00

Happy 4th of July to all. This is the first time I have not celebrated my favorite holiday! It was a holiday nonetheless in my mind. Sadly, the British ex-pats do not share my excitement over today (sore losers) and I had to work!

So, I wish you all well before you head off to cookouts and fireworks! Thank you for your messages reminding me where I am from and why I should joyous! Trust me, I have never appreciated my country more than now; we are very, very lucky people!

Happy 4th!

Breath Strips

2007-07-02T07:34:00.000+04:00

I understand that I live in a humid desert (because everything in my life must be ironic) and that my hair will never be un-frizzy. This place is serious about wet, heavy air and makes South Carolina thru Florida in August seem chilly! What I did not account for was the destruction of my Listerine Breath Strips (which, if you haven't tried, you should. I especially enjoy giving them to children!). Here is what they normally look like.

Here is the end result of breath strips that live in Dubai:

This looks like a "triple dog dare" just waiting to happen, if I have ever seen one!

Maine Pride

2007-07-02T07:28:00.000+04:00

I was trying to catch up on current U.S. events yesterday and found this picture on msnbc.com in their story about Putin's visit to Maine to meet with President Bush. This picture made me so proud to be from Maine; and also a little worried about the Russians' sense of humor. Only in Maine will they go all out to welcome our visitors!

This is someone's grandmother!

Die Hard after all this time

2007-06-30T13:04:00.000+04:00

I am back after an extended distractions from work and lack of Internet at the hotel. I would have posted from work but there is some sort of virus recording our keystrokes so I didn't want to risk someone stealing my fabulous web blog. I have lots to tell you so expect many updates.

The most important (and ironic) thing of interest is Die Hard 4. This movie opened in the UAE last night and, as far as I know, it was not edited too much. It was, however, very surreal. First, there was assigned seating; when you buy the ticket, you pick out where you are going to sit. Once you get in the theater, there are ushers. This is great because you can arrive 5 minutes before the movie starts and be guaranteed your seats. However, unexpected.

OK- back to the actual movie. It is an excellent sequel while still remaining a "Die Hard" movie. Bruce Willis saves the United States from terrorists against all odds on Independence Day, all the while making cute comments and sarcastic jokes. Watching this plot unfold while sitting in a theater in the Middle East was weird. In my mind, I can tell myself that not at Arabs hate Americans and want to kill us. At the same time, do we need to make movies that highlight our security weaknesses?!! By the end of the movie, I was better because people were cheering for John McLean as he battled the bad guys. (PS the special effects and stunts in the film were totally out of control!!)

Lastly, they offer 3 kinds of popcorn at the theater: butter, honey, and caramel. I am addicted to honey popcorn. Seriously addicted.

Snow!

2007-06-15T12:25:00.000+04:00

Dubai has this obsession with shopping, which obviously results in shopping malls everywhere. However, these malls are out of control. My favorite is the Mall of the Emirates.
The main reason I love it is because of Ski Dubai, the indoor ski slope.

At the end of the slope is a wall (which is hilarious in general) but on the other side, is a bar. One can sit at the bar and watch people fall down the slope into the wall. I love this. I also love that everyone there wears a helmet. Even the kids in the inner tubes! Coming from a state virtually covered in snow 9 months out of the year, this behavior is hysterical.
I also LOVE the fake snow-covered trees... like you will start to forget you are indoors.

Since I don't ski, you will have to enjoy the slopes through a stranger!

Local dancing

2007-06-10T19:03:00.000+04:00

I have heard rumors about a local UAE dance that is performed (usually in competition) with a rifle of some sort. Since You Tube is now my ultimate research tool, I tried to find this. I thought that it was bad PR for the Middle East to be dancing around with weapons but it turns out that I can only find kids doing this dance. It is very close to US drill teams with their rifles. So mix that with a gymnastic floor routine and you have their local traditional dance.

The adults, however, seem to be fond of this sword dance. I am not even going to talk about the safety issues associated with this. I will note that swords seem to be pretty common here; their blade of choice, like machetes in Rwanda. A lot of street fights start over girls (universal) but people will bring their swords. Who even has a sword that is fight ready in case you have to throw down outside a bar? It is not like it is easy to conceal. Maybe you just wear it out, like the Calvary! (Let's hope that comment does not come out if I ever see someone carrying a sword!!)

TV Commercials

2007-06-10T18:09:00.000+04:00

The largest adjustment for Americans (beyond the Diet Coke scandal) is the television. The sports are completely weird (see below). The shows are a mixture of Arabian, American, and British programming. There does not seem to be a consistent schedule and there are no commercials (generally) during the programs. However, there are some commercial breaks that are either 20 minutes of commercials or upcoming movie release specials. (I cannot watch the "Making of Shrek the Third" anymore!!)

The commercials usually run in English and Arabic. However, some of them only run in Arabic, leading to my new favorite game: Guess the product. Now, in the US, one would try to guess the product before they show it. Here, it is just to guess the product in general. Trust me.

Here were the toughest so far:
1) All the green and red (walk and don't walk) men jump out of the street lights and perform an epic battle, greens ultimately defeating the reds. Watch

Turns out that this is for Snickers, Don't Stop. Cute but really violent and confusing in Arabic. Even with the Snickers logo at the end, as it makes no sense without the tag line.

2) This Arab woman is eating some sort of spread on bread. It is in a mayonnaise jar and I don't judge because everyone here loves mayo like they are British. Then, she puts it in the fridge and sees some nacho chips on the counter and eats the "mayo" with the chips. Then she repeats the same thing with a plate of vegetables! Then, she puts it away, walks away, and goes back and just eats it straight out of the jar with a spoon! Now I am confused. Mayo is OK but this is a little crazy. She finally stops eating it when the phone rings and she meets her friends for dinner. (She can't eat there because she is so full from "mayo" all day) I couldn't get this one on my own. I went in search of this product at the grocery store. After some hunting, I found that it is cheese spread. I was going to have to leave if people were that excited about mayonnaise. (I couldn't find this one! I will keep looking!)

3) This one takes the cake. I had the product name from the commercials Rani Citrus. 3 guys are drinking said product when all of a sudden, THOUSANDS of men in hot dog costumes chase them all over the Mall of the Emirates. Finally, they are surrounded by all these hot dogs and they jump off the balcony! WHAT!

Watch video here Under "What's on TV" (the upper left-hand thumbnail)

I had to ask someone who spoke Arabic. I explained this at work and at the end I told them they show Rani Citrus drink. They are all like, "Well, that is what the commercial is for." (Yeah, I got that part) And the hot dogs? Apparently, Rani Citrus has pulp in it and has been running a campaign called "Get Chunked." They were human-sized piece of pulp chasing people around the mall. Still, I am not sure why. Do these guys not want to get chunked? If not, why would they even drink Rani? Or they wanted to get chunked and it is fun to run from the pulp? I am still out on this one due to it's complete randomness!

Hand Ball

2007-06-06T19:02:00.000+04:00

So I am not a "sports" person but I have discovered the best way to watch these events is in Arabic. Al Jazeera has an ESPN knockoff that plays their favorite sports, which seems to be cricket, rugby, football, and what I saw tonight. I had to Google it since I had never seen anything like it. Team Handball! It is an Olympic Sport! I feel like I haven't been paying attention for years. It is hilarious to watch. It is like reverse soccer and you can only use your hands.

The American sports that have made it over include: NASCAR and WWE Wrestling. I have never laughed so hard in my entire life when I heard the good old boys announcing the race while the tickers streamed the opposite way in Arabic across the screen. I can't imagine why people over here think we violent people obsessed with cars! Whatever. At least we don't go all out for the Super Team Handball Bowl!

Movie Edits

2007-06-05T18:36:00.000+04:00

OK, I do understand that I have moved to a Muslim country but there is a problem with the movies. They are edited, which normally would be fine. I am used to TV edits for the US. I understand that we use the excuse that we, as a country need to take responsibility to act as parents for people who cannot seem to do it for themselves. (That may actually be a separate post) However, the movie edits here make no sense. Swearing is completely OK. No morally questionable scenes of affection.

Now, I am sure that the O.C. fans can figure out the problem with Luke's father without seeing him kiss another man. But, while watching American Beauty, the guy-kiss is A MAJOR part of the story line. The movie makes no sense. There is a hug and then the Marine shoots Kevin Spacey (which is also fine to show at 10am). I tell myself that it must be that the movies are edited by people who cannot speak English and have no idea what they are saying just cut our scenes by sight alone. Just don't play the movie at all if you are going to ruin it by removing key violence and morally compromising scenes!!

Church Argument

2007-06-05T18:00:00.000+04:00

So, I have been on my best behavior for a month now. I was fine until one of my office mates announced the Google Earth had deeply offended him. Let's get some things straight:

1) I think there is a person like this in every office. They have lots of theories about the world; even more opinions about your life; are super nosy; and usually do very little work.

2) I understand that most people I work with have learned English as a second language. I would not want someone to judge me based on my Arabic so I do question comments that seem extreme.

KOA: "Google Earth has deeply offended you? How?"
OM: "Yes. I am looking at the picture of this city and there is a mosque."
(*Now I am completely confused as he is a practicing Muslim*)
KOA: "Why is that offensive?"
OM: "Because they have labeled it 'Church!'"
KOA: " Oh, I see. Well, there is no need to be offended. In America, it is common to call any place of worship a 'Church.' It's OK."
OM: "No it's only for Christians."
KOA: "Well, OM, I have to answer to 'Na-ah'"
OM: "It does not mean that."
(And so was the day that I introduced the office to Merriam-Webster online, which states: a building for public and especially Christian worship. 'Especially' not 'only' makes me the winner!!)

Disclaimer

2007-06-03T18:06:00.000+04:00

So, I started to write a rant about movie editing here in Dubai (to be finished eventually once I calm down) and realized that I sent this blog to people with kids who will use it to follow their Auntie Kate's adventures. I, of course, am not always G-Rated so I have decided to make this easier by marking all the entries that are "super kid friendly" with an asterisk. I assume that most under aged viewers will be checking out pictures but this is the official disclaimer!

I feel strongly that any random rants that I have should be posted for all but some things will never be appropriate (or interesting, for that matter) to someone under the age of 10. Posts not marked may still be fine but I am not taking responsibility for those!

More of the New Pad

2007-06-03T18:00:00.000+04:00

The bedrooms are typical hotel standard issue. No complaints there. I did get a universal power strip for my room to use all my fun US electronics. This thing is great- it takes any type of plug but is horrible ugly as far as power strips go. Aesthetics loose out this time to function!

The common living area is pretty nice here as well. Living and dining rooms are connected. Entry way, laundry room, and 3 bedrooms, in addition to the kitchen are my new digs! An apartment with room and maid service, plus the grocery store delivers! I could get used to this- despite the heat outside!!

The outside however, is where the sweet part comes in. The resort is divided into the hotel and the suites, so we have separate pool and gym facilities. Our room overlooks the hotel pool and restaurants! Here is one of the four patios we have one the apartment (plus view)!

The New Pad

2007-06-03T17:37:00.000+04:00

I do live in a sweet pad here in Dubai. The cost of apartments and houses in the city are outrageous so it is actually cheaper to retain a hotel apartment for people like me, lowly short-timers! The appliances here are OK. There are some problems. Everyone uses gas, which I love in a stove, however, I am not OK with the gas oven. I have figured out how to light it but I can't seem to get the flame to stay.

The microwave has a knob to set the cook time. I set it for one minute and hit start. 1:19 starts on the counter. WHAT? There is no reason for this and none of the instruction packets help with it.

The washing machine/ dryer are all-in-one! It is a French design and totally does not work. I am not actually sure if I am using the correct settings but honestly, I could care less since I refuse to iron things. It will be wrinkled once I wear it for an hour anyway. Luckily, you can send your laundry out for overnight service very cheaply here so that is always an alternative to washing 2 articles at a time!!

The dishwasher seems to have the same type of picture instructions as all the other appliance (read: completely worthless) What does this mean anyway? Hot water for pots only? Dishes only below? Whatever. I turn it until it starts and it seems to clean the dishes just fine!!

My favorite thing is this electric kettle. Maybe I am behind the "appliance" times but this thing is great. All the Brits seem to know what these are so I assume that the US is the only place where these are not common. (I just googled this and found that there are lots of places one can buy "European Styled Kettles" and I am just living in my bubble)

I am still using my computer for pictures! Never fear- buying a digital camera is on my to do list!!

More Traffic

2007-05-31T19:15:00.000+04:00

I have been research and here is some advice I have stumbled upon!!
"Traffic accidents are a leading cause of death in the UAE because drivers often drive at high speeds. Unsafe driving practices are common, especially on inter-city highways. On highways, unmarked speed bumps and drifting sand create additional hazards." (Consular Information Sheet for UAE)
"Passers-by are in general very willing to assist in road accidents but can be very unprofessional in medical emergencies requiring first-aid treatment. Mobile phones are widely used throughout the UAE, so passers-by usually request emergency police and medical services quickly. Response time by emergency services is adequate. However, medical personnel emphasize transport of the injured to the hospital rather than treatment on site. Traffic accidents are a leading cause of death in the UAE. Unsafe driving practices are common, especially on inter-city highways. On highways, wandering camels, unmarked speed bumps and drifting sand create additional hazards." City Guide for Dubai

This was the only reference to driving laws I came across:
"Country-wide traffic laws impose stringent penalties for certain violations, particularly driving under the influence of alcohol. Penalties may include hefty jail sentences and fines, and, for Muslims, lashings. No children under the age of 12 allowed in the front seat."

Driving in Dubai

2007-05-31T19:04:00.001+04:00

I know that I have mentioned this before but Emiratis have TONS of money. This is evident in the purchase of a Porsche as a "commuter car." Everyday is like a car show while you sit in traffic. Dubai has grown so fast that the transportation infrastructure is far behind. There is no subway; roads change almost daily; GPS navigators do not work here; and most everyone drives their own car or takes a taxi. This would be fine if there were rules of engagement. There are none. The only rule is to avoid eye contact. Making eye contact with someone trying to cut you off is like waving him on.

If you have ever driven on the Beltway during rush hour in DC (so in the day time) the volume is the same. However, it moves at over 100 km/hr (62 mph). People do not obey lanes, use their blinkers, or have a plan on where they are going until the last minute. They also do not believe in wearing seat belts, using car seats for children, or using a headset with their cell phones. In addition, there are many vehicles that do not fit in with the millions of Lexi, Rang Rovers, and Mercedes. They are what a typical American would expect in the Middle East. Trucks from India (TATAs are my favorite), huge trucks decorated inside and out with crazy colors and fringe, and buses of laborers being transported to and from the labor camps outside the city.

To add insult to proverbial and literal injury, they will carry camels in any size truck without fear or regret.

Diet Coke

2007-05-29T23:04:00.000+04:00

I am a DC addict and was well aware that while traveling overseas, many of the things I love would not be available. However, upon arriving in Dubai and seeing that EVERYTHING is pretty much available, I have a problem. Coke Light is what is provided in the UAE. It is not Diet Coke. I heart Diet Coke for its taste and have no problem living without it for awhile. However, packaging Coke Zero and trying to pass it off as DC is crazy. I have been doing some research on the whole situation and there are many theories (most of which are boring- here are the interesting ones):

1) Local water supply impacts the taste. (Yuck. I hope that is not true because this country has more money than they know what to do with so I consider that to be just plain laziness)

2) All soda tastes different overseas. (Whatever. I am so tired of the argument that while we want all the things America has, we are still unique so it will be our version. Get a copy of The Lexus and the Olive Tree and cry me a river! I refuse to compromise my DC in the name of globalization!)

3) Coke Cola intended for all the Coke products to taste the same however, whatever ingredient that is needed to achieve this with DC is illegal in the US. (This sounds lame. Plus, they have American football overseas- can't they also have American DC?

In conclusion, I am sure I will survive this but I am here to make sure all those strange and random questions you are too embarrassed to ask get answered!!

Middle Eastern Facilities

2007-05-29T23:02:00.000+04:00

I must admit that I am not a worldly person. I am open to all these cultural quirks but I have a problem with the bathrooms here. I was warned that the Middle Eastern Culture considers our bathroom habits to be disgusting. (Now, of course, there is a large part of the Middle East just as "western" as can be, so this seems to be more of tradition here in Dubai) They believe in washing themselves after completion and most private bathrooms have a bidet. Most of the public bathrooms have this hose on the wall. I, being a germ phobic American, find this to be disgusting and therefore, thought that I should share!

I am reminded of the movie, Demolition Man, when Sly comes out of the bathroom and tells them they are out of toilet paper and there are 3 seashells on the shelf where it should be. Everyone laughs because Sly doesn't know how to use the 3 seashells. Turns out that isn't so far from reality!!

This should have really been done

2007-05-28T21:31:00.000+04:00

OK... I have been trying to get this blog up and running much sooner. I have a bunch of things to get done so my being a technology dunce did not help in this venture. I will get the hang of this soon and be able to update you all on my adventures effortlessly. Please be patient and editorial comments in moderation are always welcome!!

I miss you all and am loving the 102 degree cool spell we are having right now!

Freakin' Turkeys

2007-05-28T20:54:00.002+04:00

Thanksgiving day. Lovely time. I just spent some time explaining it to my Muslim co-workers. It turns out that most thought that it was a Christian holiday. Once I explained it was a national holiday, not religious, things apparently started to make more sense to them. It must be confusing to work with British and American expats since we are really from different cultures completely. Can't wait to see how the 4th of July goes- I am thinking the Brits aren't going to want to celebrate that one!!

New Smells....

2007-05-28T20:54:00.001+04:00

I know that this is nothing people want to hear about but it is becoming a problem for me in my current environment. It is very hot here. I understand cultural differences but seriously, it is the 21st Century. Why is there such a lack of deodorant wearing in the DESERT?!! It is hot. You are going to sweat. That is fine but really. There are varying degrees (Speaking of which, I recommend Degree Click On)- ranging from the traditional "make your eyes water" whiff to a lingering "mildew-like" stench. I don't understand it. It cannot be that much of a cultural thing as there are people here from all over and it seems to be random. Maybe this issue supersedes territorial boundaries. Maybe this should be taken to the international courts. This would be the sole reason I am worried about Global Warming.

I heart Camels!

2007-05-28T20:53:00.001+04:00

It is official. I have seen camels and I am now in the Middle East. Now, mind you the camels were speeding down the highway in the back of a toy pickup TATA truck (2 chilling in the back). I had been professional to that point when I squealed, "LOOK!! There are camels!" My coworkers laughed and replied that this was the Middle East and I would be seeing a lot of them. Whatever. Those were my first authentic, non-zoo camels. They were probably tired from giving rides to the tourists all day long but I don't care. They were Emirati camels in a truck. If only I had a camera!!

The End of the Interview Week

2007-05-28T20:51:00.000+04:00

After spending 3 full days in Dubai, I left the apartment to return to the States. I left exactly 2 hours before my 1:20am flight. As I waited for the cab, I was thinking that I should have left more time. When the cab driver arrived at 11:25pm I started to feel better. Then we hit traffic. A lot of traffic. (A side note should be included here: Driving in Dubai is like taking your own life into you hands. It is full contact. There is no eye contact. And you must be very aggressive!!) I was in the most passive cab EVER! The minutes ticked away. I needed to check my luggage 75 minutes before departure. Math in my head: 1:20- 20= 1am. 75 minutes minus 20 is 55. 1am minus 55 is 12:05am. Okay. I still have 20 minutes. 15 minutes. 10 minutes. OMG!! The driver informs me that he is taking me to the second entrance of the airport because it will be faster and he knows a short cut. 5 minutes. We pull up and stop on the left side of the road. I would say pull over except that wasn't the way it went down. We just stopped and blocked the lane. I needed a receipt. He handwrote one. 3 minutes!! I run across the remaining 4 lanes of traffic, using my luggage as a shield. Luckily, the traffic did not allow anyone to get up a enough speed to knock me over!!

I walk into the airport's second entrance. It was packed. It was also the "local" entrance. Everything was in Arabic. Everyone was on their cell phones standing wherever they wanted yelling in all sorts of Arabic dialect. There were no signs with the British Airways emblem. I want to cry. OK. Regroup. I have run out of time and the only thing in English is the FIDS screen flashing "BA106 Closing" in red. Thanks. I catch a glimpse of the BA tag. It is one a guys luggage as a name tag. He is going to Area 3. That's as good as any choice. I walk behind him. He answers his cell. The line moves. I wait 3 seconds and cut in front of him. Repeat this process for the next 30 seconds. No one cares to stop the giant white girl who obviously does not want to wait as they discuss moving in line with everyone in their phone book. I load everything on the x-ray. The scary military guard tells me there is no need to take the laptop out but that I need to go thru the metal detectors at the other end. Of course. (Another note: I had twisted my ankle in stupid heels 3 days prior and it was quickly becoming 3 times it's normal size!)

So, I run down. (For those of you who know me, I avoid this activity all the time). I run back to get my bags. There is no cultural norm for people in Dubai to move out of your way. They are never in a hurry and there does not seem to be a "stand to the right; walk to the left" rule here. So, I start moving little people out of my way. It must have looked odd to see me plowing thru from a distance but I didn't care at this point. I needed to check the bags or I wouldn't be flying on BA! I run across the area to BA counters and since the two British guys were on their cells, I cut the line again. Whatever. Judge me all you want but being on your cell phone implies that you are not focused on the task at hand. I arrive breathlessly to the queen behind the counter who laughs and says, "Why were you rushing? We check bags up to 60 minutes before departure." Had they already taken my bags, I would have beaten this kid down. He finally finishes checking me in and tells me that my flight will begin boarding at 1am at Gate 18. Great. Where is Gate 18? "Go to the end of this area, turn left, …. And follow everybody else." I hate him so much. Smile and exit.

OK. Deep breath. I am getting on the plane so the hard part is over, right? I do not think I have ever been so wrong in my entire life. I walk for like 2 miles. The Dubai airport is set up that you walk thru curved hallways and up and down escalators to trick you into thinking that you are getting somewhere or that the end of your trek is near. Neither of those things are true. I hobble my way down the maze and end up at Passport Controls (a.k.a. Customs). I had passed the opposite direction 3 days before. From that experience, I wanted to get into a line with a woman attendant. (It is easy to pick them out in Muslim countries: women in black; men in white). I pick my line. A guard in a beret and scary uniform comes over and tells me in broken English to move to another line. I said OK and moved. I wait in the line and FINALLY get up to the desk. I avoid eye contact and hand him my boarding pass and passport. He types. He mumbles. He types louder. He says something in Arabic to the next guy over. He comes over and types. They start yelling at each other, pointing at the passport, and typing loudly. I am going to cry again. They stop. He throws my stuff back and says, "You can't come in here." No heartbeat. I am going to pass out. What? "You go to office." What? Chest is constricting. I think I am seeing spots. "YOU GO TO OFFICE BACK THERE!!" Ok, dude. I go in the general direction back thru the line, like a walk of shame. I could feel all those people hoping that I (the problem passenger) was not on their flight.

I hand my paperwork thru the bulletproof glass to a smiling Emirati. The same thing with the typing, pointing, and yelling occurs. After 10 minutes, he stamps my passport and says, "OK. Go to the left." What? "LEFT" Jeez. There is no build up here, huh? I am SO sorry I am annoying you. Now I understand how immigrants feel coming to the US. Saying things to me slower and louder actually help me learn Arabic. So, I stand in the line the most to the left. The guard starts yelling at me. What now? Oh, I should go around the desks to the left. Fine. I walk around the corner and there is another baggage screen/metal detector. This time I need to take out my laptop. The people from Uganda are confused at the process but know they aren't going to let me cut the line. Thanks. Finally I get thru and continue onward thru the maze.

Another 15 minutes of my life later, I arrive at Duty Free. I figure I will buy people presents here. Unfortunately, the UAE does not sell shot glasses (even disguised as toothpick holders) in duty free. They sell alcohol, cigarettes, and British candy. Assuming that everything would labeled half in Arabic, like the pack of cigarettes I had in my bag. That was going to have to do. I bought a carton of cigarettes and a box of Crunchie candy bars. I was a little frazzled by this time and added things in USD; not in Dirhams. I don't have enough Dirhams since I tipped the slowest cabbie in the world. Damn. I ask her to take the candy bars off. She smiles and calls the manager to type forever to take them off. The line is forming behind me. I swear I can hear people whisper, "Isn't that the girl from Passport Control? She brings problems!!"

Embarrassed for my new found inability to add, I walk out of Duty-Free when I hear "Last call for BA Flight 106 at Gate 18" It is 1250?!! Last call. I hate that counter guy! I run up the escalator and thankfully Gate 18 is just to the right. There is a line for yet ANOTHER bag screen/ metal detector. I get to my turn. I do not need to take out my laptop this time. I walk thru the metal detector. Beep. Crap. I tried it again. Beep. I think that it has to be my hoodie. I ask if I should put it thru the x-ray. I ask because I only have a tank top on and this is a Muslim country. The guard says nothing. I ask again. He yells, "I did not ask you to undress!" Okay. "You go with her." He points to a woman in full Muslim garb. Great. I grab my carry on and follow her into what can best be described as a freestanding room. She shuts the door and I realize that I can almost see over the walls. I ask again if I should take off my sweatshirt. She says no and then proceeds a full frontal grope. Ummm, what are you doing? She tells me it is my undergarments setting off the detector. Some warning would have been nice but I keep that to myself. You must realize that I have been up 17.5 hours at this point and I am being fondled by a Muslim woman. I had to laugh. To add insult to injury, I turn around and her phone rings. So, we finish the pat down one-handed while she laughed and talked to her friend. As I walked out of the room, I could feel the 400 BA passengers staring at me, thinking, "That is the girl from Passport Control and Duty Free. She needs to get her act together!!"

I would also like to point out at this point that we waited until 0120 (our departure time) to board the plane. We started with the people who needed extra time or had children to board. Then, in unusual fashion, everyone else was welcomed to board the plane. I hated BA at that point. I fought my way to my seat and counted the hours until I could get home. Way to make a first impression!!

And then there was one...

2007-05-28T20:17:00.001+04:00

OK. Testing. 1,2,3 Test. Sibilance. Sibilance.

I am officially one of those people I hate. Bloggers. Jeez. I am almost as annoyed with myself as the time when I referred to myself as a Generation X-er. Grr. This can't be happening!! However, there is a good reason (read: excuse) for all this. I do need to communicate with people and I will never be able to call everyone from overseas... so this is what you get: an electronic tale of my travels. A virtual Kate, if you will.

I am currently negotiating my position in the UAE and trying to get motivated to pack all my worldly belongings again. Once in storage, I will be off to the other side of the world and my new digs here: http://www.almuroojrotanahoteldubai.com/

Sounds too good to be true, huh? Mostly. There is the horrific flight to and from the location and the dessert can be up to 135 degrees and wicked humid in the summer. Like Washington D.C. on crack. Heh. OK, I am up and running. Hopefully, this will satisfy most of you or reconnect me with the peeps of yesterday, with whom I have lost touch.

Peace out, B-Scout!
Kate

PS) Why is Webdings still an option under Font? Does anybody blog in symbols?

Katherine of Arabia

Mid-Life Crisis

**Job Hunt Landmines**

**The Downstairs Office**

**The Back 40 of the Game Room**

**Inauguration Fun!**

**The Pool Table Saga**

**Fancy T-Day Tables**

**Thanksgiving Ready!**

**Delay in Pictures**

**The Master Bedroom Reloaded**

**The Master Bedroom**

**So, I am a grown up**

**New Adventures**

Friendster

**Air Taxis**

** I Heart Jets**

**On the Camel Walk**

**Burj Dubai View**

**Holidays v 2.0**

**HATTA**

**More Birthday Fun**

Everything's Bigger in Dubai

**Holidays**

Facebook Banned

**Winter is Over**

Random Day #2

**Happy New Year + Randomness**

**Greetings from Madrid**

**Happy Holidays**

**Rugby Pictures**

**RUGBY**

**Dubai Airshow**