Everything's Bigger in Dubai

Thank you all for the emails checking on me to make sure I wasn't involved in the 350 car pile up on the border of Abu Dhabi and Dubai. I was not. I was already safely at work! The official story was that the initial accident was caused by fog. Here, people drive with their hazard lights flashing in fog instead of these handy things, called FOG LIGHTS! So, you cannot tell if they are signaling to change lanes. (They don't normally but whatever).

So, there was an accident and cars caught on fire. I believe that is where all this "fog" started. Then, since people here are very busy and cannot be bothered, they would drive in the breakdown lane around the accident scene and hit people as they were getting out of their cars and running away from their burning vehicles. This blocked the emergency vehicles on ground and the smoke from the initial 22 cars prevented the helicopters from assisting.

What have we learned from this? Four words: FOG LIGHTS, DUMB ASSES!! I sit here more confident than ever in the driving capabilities of American citizens. Please watch these videos for further proof. First, this is a normal day in the airport tunnel; and second, they installed a new speed bump and chaos ensued!!