The Site- Reloaded

Despite my absolute refusal to ever go to site again, my exiting manager decided that I needed to go on a Site Walk to inspect a series of mock ups. I am working to build the next concourse of the airport; specifically the displays that tells you the flight information and the speaker system that annoys you while you try to make last minute phone calls. Right now, there is minimal air conditioning and temporary power so inside the site is only slightly more bearable than outside.

I walk around with these important people and get my usually work out. For those of you who do not know me, I am a big gal, who smokes and hates vegetables, working out, and hypocrites. The last item was just for your information and has little to do with this story. My manager was convinced that I was overreacting to the situation by only referring to site as "The Gauntlet" (I can also be a drama queen). However, he was proven wrong when we went to site today. Every laborer stopped working to stare at me as I walked by. Not staring like we do in the states when we are picking a bar fight but staring like the other people in that dream you have when you show up at school naked.

I am now thinking that it is actually the fact that I turn this fun shade of purple when I am hot and exercising in 122 degree weather. I think they know to stare at pretty.... which is exactly what I am walking around site. Nice post script though: I swear I lose 5 lbs. every time I do a site walk so if this picks up, I will never have to go to the gym ever again!!

The First Trip to Site

Currently, I work off-site- in a nice, air-conditioned office. I go to site to meet with people in air-conditioned trailers. Sadly, I was required to go to yet another safety training yesterday. I went to site with 2 of my colleagues and made my way into the East Ramp and down to the 5th basement of what will eventually be the new terminal of the airport.

Instantly, I stick out. My male colleagues notice. While there are women that work in the offices on site, there is rarely a woman rocking the steel toed and heeled boots, safety vest, and hard hat who is 6 ft. tall and white with blond hair. There are thousands upon thousands of laborers working on this construction site; mostly from Pakistan and India. I met a bunch of them yesterday as I made quite the disruption walking around on site.

My colleagues quickly realize how wonderful this is. We can walk in the road (not on the pedestrian area- which is longer) and they stop traffic for me. I got to cut to the front of the lines for area permits. Crowds of men who have been living in labor camps for years stare and whistle. I have decided that I will not be able to go to site alone. Ever. I am used to people staring but this is the most unbelievable thing I have ever experienced!!

How do you say?

I hear the above phrase all the time. Most of the Arab men I work with went to British schools and are desperate to learn American English.... especially the slang. I am not a great influence since I swear like a sailor and have mastered the art of putting the perfect insult together.

(If you have a queasy stomach or do not like gross things- please stop reading now)
The other day, my office mate groaned. I asked him if he was OK and he replied (like most of my friends, who are completely open about all bodily functions), "No, I don't feel good. I need to go to the bathroom."

The conversation could have stopped there. It really didn't need to have gone that far already.

He stands up and yells:
"Katie-Kate, How do you say? Huh? Wait.... I am going to blow it up!! The bathroom... get it?"

I do. I can't believe how funny this is. My reply has to be:
"Dude, first, I don't need to know you like that. Second, Americans get nervous when Arabs yell 'I am going to blow it up!!' so let's not do that again."

He still finds this to be the funniest thing ever! I am a fly strip for inappropriate!

*Car Show!*

I know I have mentioned some of the dangers of traffic/driving here in Dubai. I left out their complete obsession (and lack of basic concept understanding) of the traffic circle and speed humps.

The traffic circles are EVERYWHERE and usually 3-4 lanes wide. Even in the simple 2 lane circle, anyone can exit from any lane. This can cause some problems when others are trying to merge into traffic and both lanes can either exit or continue round! It is like getting into double dutch jumping! In some cases, they have just given up and put in traffic lights on the circles. This completely defeats the purpose but who am I to judge.

The only thing that outnumbers circles are speed humps. Humps- not bumps. These will bottom out a small SUV. It is also common to see some poor guy stuck with a Lamborghini that will not even come close to clearing it. The hilarious part about people here is that the gas is so cheap, they don't care. They will speed up to 60 mph and then slam on their breaks for the hump. Pointless.

I will not even get into safety issues now. I could write a book on how crazy people are when left to their own judgment!!

The very cool aspect about the location has already been mentioned. It is a car show here every day. Leaving work, we spotted this custom job on the back of a flat bed (most likely because if the humps): I was also in the parking garage at the mall and saw this parked with all the crappy cars: Seriously dude. If you can afford this car; you can afford valet.

Everyday is like "Gone in 60 Seconds" and if you are feeling brave, see what that does to people on YouTube by searching "crazy arabs" Hours of entertainment!!

*StormCenter- Day 3*

This is the 3rd day of my very first SANDSTORM!!! I was very excited about the sandstorm concept. If one lives in a normal desert, they seem to be crazy out of control! This is what I expected from pictures in Iraq: Awesome, right? I guess that these do occur here and they are like rainstorms in Florida- intense, dangerous, and about 15 minutes long!

In this particular case, the urban sprawl and the location of Dubai has created another ecosystem- trapping moisture and humidity off the gulf and sand from the desert. Over the past 2 decades, they have started to get clouds year round here. Anyway- back to the weather at hand.... This is what my first sandstorm has looked like since Sunday: What a let down! Not to mention, this is the most annoying weather place ever. You are sticky all the time from the humidity and then sand sticks to you.

*Diet Coke Madness!*

So, I received some amusing emails regarding my earlier Diet Coke posting. The first, and by far the funniest, was from my most favorite man in Bucksport, Maine.

He says, "The diet coke thing is simple. The rest of the world had coke lite (and it is disgusting everyplace) only to make America look so good. All the rest of the world buys it, but you can always get a smile when you see an American have their first taste of the crap. The expression could be used by movie directors to teach actors the look of losing their best friend. It is even intensified if the traveling American has gone a few weeks without diet coke."

This is the best description EVER! I laughed out loud and that rarely happens from an email!

The close second was more practical from one of may bad ass girlfriends, who has recently returned from a tour in Iraq and knows my pain firsthand:

She says, "I can totally relate about Middle East diet coke. My solution was switching to Diet Pepsi which is a LOT better. The stuff we had has Turkish on it and it said "Harika Tat." We all actually started calling it "Harika tat." Take the pepsi challenge and report back to me."

Now, I took the Pepsi challenge and it has spawned another new dilemma (that's about par for most things in my life)

New problem:
While this turned out to be a more fabulous picture of my manicure, that label also state, "NOT TO BE USED BY PHENYLKETONURICS" I am a little germaphobic so I instantly wikipedia-ed "Phenylketonuria"

I am assuming that I do not have this recessive gene since I have been drinking diet soda here for awhile. Did I miss something? Is this on labels at home? On a post script, the Pepsi is much better but still drastically different from the US. I am just going to have to get over it as it is one of the few things that isn't nice over here

Semi Charmed Life

I just realized on Friday that I live a very "princess" life. This is made possible by the company- provided accommodations and the tax free country in which I reside. This frees up funding for the fact that I take taxis everywhere and spend a lot of time participating in Dubai's national pastime: shopping.

On Friday, I went to the mall to buy some camping gear (Don't ask) and called for a taxi. A Mercedes shows up and takes me to the mall. Sadly, this is when I realized that my life is not normal. It is fake because there is no way I could afford my lifestyle in a first world country but abnormal for the moment. Last night, I went to get my nails done and again, rode to my mundane errand in a spiffy Lexus!! I am trying to avoid getting used to this as "service" in the US has a completely different meaning.

On a less self-involved note, on Saturday, I became the neighbor of the World's Tallest Building, Burj Dubai. As they completely the 141st floor on Saturday, the "Burj" surpassed Taiwan's 508m (1,667ft) Taipei 101 Building. They will not say how tall they are making the Burj because there is some industry competition or whatever weird thing architects do to compete with each other. So, if I hear anything, I will be sure you all are the first to know.

There is no excuse

I am the worst blogger in the world. There are some systemic problems with me blogging.

1) I am lazy. I never finish anything. Right now, I have started 8 entries and not one has been completed!! (Such a slacker!)

2) Since I have committed some horrible act in a past life, karma continues to punish me. This new job has fallen victim to my normal employment curse!! I have arrived, started work, and then my boss quits. There is shuffling that usually ends up with me doing all the work for the low, low price of my current salary. The latter part of that will not happen this time- I will quit first.

3) I have my first desert cold... and it sucks a whole bunch. They do not sell NyQuil here because of the alcohol content so self-medicating is not really helping. I can buy absinthe at the liquor store but no cold medicine without a license!! This is most likely not helping my attitude about #2. Then again, I am not really a team player. I only play one for 8 hours a day!!

So, thank you all for the hate mail. I am getting peer pressured into keeping up with the diary however, sadly, my life is about to get very boring with the increased responsibility. Maybe I will just change my blog into "How not to build an Airport when money is not an object"

More to come. Soon. I swear.

*Office Pranks*

Once upon a time, there was a boy in Dubai who went to high school. Like all high schools across the world, they required their students to wrap their school books in brown paper. (At home, we used grocery bags but you know what I mean) This boy lived in Dubai, a small community at the time, and attended a private school with his 2 sisters. He decided not to wrap his books. Over and over again, his teachers asked him to comply. He refused. He was sent to the Principal's office and she asked, "Why didn't you cover your books in brown paper?" With a straight face, he told her that his family was too poor and couldn't afford brown paper. Silence. Then, "You realize that I know your family and you are not poor." No deal. No paper. Defiance (as much as you can in high school) Many years later, that same boy grew up and started working at a company with his sister. He was moving back to Dubai from the US and was gone for 3 weeks. His sister randomly tells the brown paper story and his evil co-workers run with it.
Defiant no more! I don't know if you have ever considered what it takes to individually wrap every item on your desk but I am sure you are thinking about it now. Let me tell you that from work boots to mouse pad to paper clips, it takes a team of 5-7 approximately 1 hour to get a pretty good result! Highly recommended to any office mate with a sense of humor.

PS) We completely blamed his kid sister for the idea. Literally.

*Arabic Ranch Dressing*

Quick SAT question....Yogurt Is to Arabs as Ranch is to Who? That's right. I feel like that Mike kid on the 4th season of the Real World (if you are too young to remember this, that was the first London season). Why has no one ever heard of Ranch dressing? They sell it here but no one seems to use it. I am quickly getting used to the fact that yogurt is on everything. It is really their answer to ranch dressing in the US. It comes on all my salads and is the only reason I can eat any of the Indian food here. They have a range from the cottage cheese type to a watery type with onions in it. It is slowly becoming one of my food groups against my will!

Oral Fixation Mints

I found these at the local gas station and thought they were hilarious (I also found out they were expensive- Freaking $4 USD for the tin). These particular kind is "Night Light; Caffeinated Chai Mint." I am not a fan of chai but all the other things sounded good (side note: after trying the mints, still not a fan of the chai)

Then I visited the website and found out that they are designer mints. Who would have thought that I had such great taste. I am sure there is something in these that will eventually kill me. Look at how menacing they are! NO!! FIX!!

They are made in Hopewell, NJ at a place called The Chocolate Factory so really, this post has nothing to do with Dubai at all!!

*Independence Day*

Happy 4th of July to all. This is the first time I have not celebrated my favorite holiday! It was a holiday nonetheless in my mind. Sadly, the British ex-pats do not share my excitement over today (sore losers) and I had to work!

So, I wish you all well before you head off to cookouts and fireworks! Thank you for your messages reminding me where I am from and why I should joyous! Trust me, I have never appreciated my country more than now; we are very, very lucky people!

Happy 4th!

*Breath Strips*

I understand that I live in a humid desert (because everything in my life must be ironic) and that my hair will never be un-frizzy. This place is serious about wet, heavy air and makes South Carolina thru Florida in August seem chilly! What I did not account for was the destruction of my Listerine Breath Strips (which, if you haven't tried, you should. I especially enjoy giving them to children!). Here is what they normally look like.

Here is the end result of breath strips that live in Dubai:

This looks like a "triple dog dare" just waiting to happen, if I have ever seen one!

*Maine Pride*

I was trying to catch up on current U.S. events yesterday and found this picture on msnbc.com in their story about Putin's visit to Maine to meet with President Bush. This picture made me so proud to be from Maine; and also a little worried about the Russians' sense of humor. Only in Maine will they go all out to welcome our visitors!

This is someone's grandmother!